The iCongressman Read Online Free PDF Page A

Three’s Company like Howell does.
    The man who has become the bane of my existence only needed
two weeks to get a censure resolution drafted and voted on. It probably would
have happened faster if not for the scheduled constituent work week the
representatives spend in their districts. I hope much of that time was used to
explain to the electorate why their government would rather try to destroy the
economy than compromise on a solution.
    For the second time in my year of political service, I’ve
been summoned to stand in the Well of the House Floor while Speaker Albright
reads a humiliating censure for my behavior. This resolution shows the
bipartisan spirit in this country is, in fact, alive and well—at least so far
as I am concerned. The measure passed by an almost unprecedented four hundred
twenty to two vote . Twelve members voted “present,”
the equivalent of abstaining, and the Speaker did not cast a vote as tradition
mandates. Only one person stood with me in voting “no,” and I have never even
met the guy who cast it.
    More than two-thirds of the membership has decided to attend
my public flogging, providing a clear picture of exactly how they think of me.
Maybe it’s not personal. I am the twenty-fourth person to receive a Congressional
censure, although the only to have ever received two. Quite the accomplishment, and a dubious claim to fame for someone who
is politically castrated. So, perhaps they are present to witness history with
the reading of House Resolution 1233. Yeah, wishful thinking.
    I return to reality as Speaker Albright gets rolling with
the juicy part of the resolution. “Representative Michael Bennit be censured
with the public reading of this resolution by the Speaker; and Representative
Bennit further refrain from defaming or degrading the House, criticizing the
Speaker’s personal conduct, and impugning the motives of another member or
members by charging falsehood or deception.”
    Censures are not taken lightly by the Washington elite, even
if I have developed a nonchalant attitude towards getting disciplined in this
circus fun house. Congress has not historically doled out censures haphazardly, with the last one being Charles Rangel’s in
2010. You have to go back nearly twenty years to find the one before his. I
earned my two in rapid succession, and harbor little doubt expulsion will be
the punishment for my next misstep.
    “Is there anything the gentleman from Connecticut would like
to say?” I hear Speaker Albright query from the rostrum. Yeah, I have something
to say, but it won’t be politically correct. In fact, I have a gesture or two
I’d like to make as well.
    “Not at this time, Mister Speaker, thank you.” I turn and
walk up the long aisle to the rear exit under the scrutinizing eyes of my
colleagues. As much as a moment like this deserves the middle finger, the
footage of the crass gesture would be the lead story on every evening newscast
in the country, and the last thing I ever did in Congress.
    No thanks to leadership of both parties, enough reporters are
here to start our own Woodstock. Connecticut‘s native news organizations do not
employ permanently assigned Washington correspondents, so both the Republicans
and Democrats practically bused down state news media to ensure the voters back
home hear about their derelict representative. Although her duties with the Washington Post are investigative, and
don’t include covering Congress, even Kylie was instructed to attend.
    I wager a guess that the editors at her paper thought it
might heighten my embarrassment to be disciplined in front of my girlfriend. In
any other relationship, there may be some merit to that. Fortunately for me,
Kylie is the most supportive woman I have ever known. She offers the best
advice she can to help me navigate the treacherous waters of Washington
politics. It’s hopeless, but her support is a far cry from anything my
ex-fiancée Jessica ever provided.
      Although Kylie