The Honor Trilogy: Books One, Two, and Three of the Honor Trilogy Read Online Free PDF Page A

out of breath, “call you. Oh, Honor…your mother.”
    I clutch my chest. The pain is now wildly piercing. A knife right through my heart could not be more tortuous. I scan the library. “Where?” My voice cracks. “Where is she?” Where’s my mother?”
    “The ambulance.” The aide slams both her hands on my shoulders. “They took her to Saint Clare’s…in Denville.”
    “Oh my god. Oh my god.” I’m now wearing out a three foot path in the library’s rug with my back and forth pacing. “I need to see her. Oh…I don’t even know how…how I’ll get there.”
    “Honor.” Cindy is not doing well at calming me, since not only is she just a year older than I am, she’s always so helplessly neurotic. Especially now. “They called your dad. Oh my goodness, he’s going straight from work to the hospital. Oh my god, Honor, where were you? You shoulda been here.” In the meantime, while I pace I remember that I had threw my cellphone in my backpack when we were at the reservation. “You coulda gone in the ambulance. Now what’re you gonna do?”
    “Cindy. Stop.” I hold up both my hands as if I’m stopping traffic, which metaphorically I am, since her words pour out of her mouth at breakneck speed. I’m barely able to get a thought in. “Just stop. Please.” I need to think. I reach for my backpack and retrieve my phone. Flipping through my contacts, I see Tamlin’s name. She’ll help. I’m sure of it. With trembling fingers, I press her name. No reception. Damn. I run outside hoping…just hoping to get reception. Nothing. I tear down the handicap ramp, eyeing the reception bars on my phone while I run. Stopping at the end of the ramp, I try her number again. Oh god, oh god, oh god. My hand quakes so much that I drop my phone. When I bend to pick it up, a hand lands on my shoulder. There’s no need to look to see who it is. I already know.
    “Ethan.” I cry. No, I bawl. “Oh, Ethan.” I turn to him. In his shiny, metallic, violet eyes, I search for sanity.
    “Honor?” He pulls me close. “Honor?”
    Pushing at him, I find my words. “Ethan.” I huff and I puff. “I need a ride…St. Clare’s…Denville.” My words come out in breathy whispers. “Oh my god, I just realized…I don’t even know what happened.” I turn and take off back into the library, feeling Ethan right behind me.
    “Cindy.” I call to the aide. “What happened to Mom?”
    Still in tears, Cindy cries, “Heart attack.”
    I nearly collapse, but Ethan, always near, catches me in his arms. He cradles me in his arms and we head for his car.
    Ethan does not follow speed limits, and we arrive in Denville in twenty minutes. Record time. For that, I am grateful. The whole ride I had wanted to jump out of my seat. Twenty minutes of time standing still and moving forward and me, hovering in a figurative time lapse. Helpless and impotent. Rattled and frightened.
    At the emergency room desk, I give my mother’s name, and they immediately direct us to her bed. At about the same time we reach it, a bunch of scrub-adorned medical staff rip open her curtain and start commanding technical directives. I see a man dressed in green scrubs hovering over my mother, a flat line displaying across the screen next to her bed. Dad is in the corner, in shock.
    A woman, also donning the green scrubs, orders me to leave immediately. I stand there…in a state of shock. Ethan holds the back of my arm and whispers, “Go to her, Honor. Touch her.” I faintly hear him but not well enough to respond. “Go to her, Honor,” he demands again. Allowing what he asks of me to sink in a bit, I realize he’s not making any sense. They won’t allow me anywhere near her, why in the world would he want me to touch her?
    “She can’t come in here.” The scrub commands, obviously overhearing Ethan.
    Oh god, I hold my chest. I look at Dad, still standing in the corner. His eyes are as wide as quarters, and he hasn’t moved an inch.
    “Honor,”