The Heinie Prize Read Online Free PDF

“kids had to play video games by candlelight!”
    I stared at him. What a moron.
    â€œYou know what?” I said. “I think I’ll write Belzer’s term paper myself.”

Chapter 15
T HE B ERNIE S HUFFLE
    Two nights later I was busy in my new room. The door swung open, and Feenman and Crench burst in, panting like dogs.
    â€œBernie—come quick,” Feenman said.
    â€œEmergency!” Crench cried. “It’s a poker emergency.”
    I squinted at him. “Excuse me?”
    â€œSherman is holding a poker game, and he’s beating everyone,” Crench said, tugging my arm. “Come quick, Bernie. You’ve got to join the game.”
    â€œYou’ve got to do the Bernie Shuffle,” Feenman said.
    That’s my special card trick. As I shuffle the cards, I see every single card in the deck.
    â€œThen you’ve gotta do the Bernie Deal,” Feenman said.
    That’s when I deal from the bottom, middle, and top of the deck, and no one is the wiser.
    â€œYou’ve gotta take Sherman down,” Crench said. “Hurry. I’ve got the sandpaper to get your fingers nice and dry.” He tried to tug me up again.
    â€œSorry, dudes. Not tonight,” I said. “Can’t you see I’m busy here?” I pointed to the piles of books and papers on my desk.
    â€œToo busy to teach Sherman a poker lesson?” Feenman cried. “You’re joking, right?”
    â€œI’m not joking,” I said. “What are you playing for? Money?”
    Feenman laughed. “We can’t play for money, Bernie. You took all our money—remember? We’re playing for chips.”
    â€œWhat kind of chips?” I asked.
    â€œThat new garlic and onion flavor,” Crench said. “We’ve got a whole bag.”
    My favorite! I jumped to my feet and grabbed thesandpaper from Crench. I started to sand my fingers.
    No. Stop, Bernie. No way.
    I shook my head. “I’m finishing Belzer’s math homework,” I said. “Then I have to get back to work on Belzer’s term paper.”
    â€œBut, Big B—” Crench protested.
    â€œThen I have to walk my dog,” I said. “And I’ve got two loads of Belzer’s laundry at the laundry room. When I finish that, I have to set out Belzer’s clothes for tomorrow. I have to shine his shoes. Then I have to plan what I’m going to bring him for breakfast.”
    â€œBernie, what’s happened to you?” Crench cried. “You’ve become Belzer’s slave !”
    â€œWorth it,” I said. “Worth it, dudes. We don’t want Belzer to leave school, do we? Once he wins the Heinie Prize and is King of the Campus, the king will go back to being my slave. It’s worth it.”
    They walked out, shaking their heads. I turned back to the math book and continued solving the problems.
    I worked all night. “Worth it. Worth it,” I kept muttering to myself.
    The next morning I stumbled into class, yawningand rubbing my tired eyes.
    I dropped into my seat, planning to take a short nap. But Mrs. Heinie’s words snapped me to attention. “I hope you are all ready for the Geography test,” she said. “It counts half your grade.”
    Half?
    I forgot all about it!

Chapter 16
“W E W EREN’T C HEATING !”
    I called out to Mrs. Heinie, “I’m sorry. We can’t take a test today,” I said.
    She squinted at me through her glasses. “And why not?”
    â€œIt’s a holiday,” I said. “I know how you like to celebrate holidays, Mrs. H. We all admire that about you. You’re a real holiday person.”
    She let out a groan. “What holiday?”
    Think fast, Bernie. Think fast .
    â€œUh…it’s Saint Mort’s Day,” I said.
    She squinted even harder. “Who is Saint Mort?”
    â€œWell…uh…” I could feel beads of sweat rolling down my forehead. I