Tags:
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Gay Studies,
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Juvenile Fiction,
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Friendship in Adolescence
dust.No one said much else after we finished reading the passage. I think we were all too stunned by how angry the discussion had gotten. We closed the meeting in prayer and put the chairs back in order.
And I slinked out the door, feeling like I had dodged a bullet.28
Chapter 6
ARRIVING HOME FROM BIBLE STUDY,I TOSSED MY BACKPACK TO THE FLOOR
AND COLLAPSED INTO BED. WHAT SHOULD HAVE BEEN MY DREAM SENIOR
YEAR WAS TURNING INTO A NIGHTMARE.Cliffs and Elizabeth's comments hadn't totally surprised me. Their attitudes about gay people were the same as those I'd heard at church and Sunday school--and just as unsettling, if not worse.I wished I could have spoken up and explained that a person might not necessarily want to have gay feelings and that it might not be so easy to get rid of them. But no way could I say that. People might suspect I'd had thoughts about kissing and doing lusty things with guys.As I lay in bed, I cupped my hands behind my head and stared up at the ceiling. A crack had been inching its way across the plaster for years, like some slowly growing tree branch. I'd once asked Pa about it, a little worried the roof might crash in on me, but he'd told me not to worry. "It's just from the foundation settling."Inside my jeans pocket, my cell phone rang. It was Angie. "Why'd you take off so fast after Bible study?"Me, sitting up: "Because it was crazy!"29Angie: "Yeah. I never expected that big a rise." Me: "Was Dakota trying to antagonize them?" Angie: "You think?"I couldn't tell if she was sarcastic or serious. A moment later, my call-waiting clicked. It was Elizabeth calling to ask why I hadn't sided with her at the Bible study.I asked if I could call her back, then Dakota clicked in, asking, "Did Elizabeth call you?"My gut clenched uneasily. The multiple calls got pretty insane for a while as I tried to juggle all three girls; then I finally managed to get off the phone. It wasn't the first time I'd gotten caught in the middle of their squabbles. Pa had once referred to the group as my harem. As if. I wondered how Abraham, Isaac, and my other Old Testament heroes had managed multiple wives.
Wasn't one plenty?I took a deep breath, hoping to rally myself to get up and out of bed. But instead, I crashed asleep. Next thing I knew, Pa was shaking my foot and peering at me with concern."Something wrong, mijo?""Um, no," I lied, recalling Bible study."You sure?" Pa insisted. "You didn't look so good this morning, either.""I'm okay--just tired from school." I rubbed my eyes. "I'll go start dinner." He and I took turns making dinner, and tonight was my turn."Never mind," Pa told me. "Let's go get pizza." I didn't argue.Pa and I had always gotten along well. When my ma died, he'd taken her death pretty hard, and started to drink every night, from the time he got home until he was drunk. He hadn't been a mean drunk, but he would get depressed, telling me over and over, "Te quiero, mijo. You know I love you."30The way he kept repeating it had frightened me. What if something happened to him, too? I felt like I had to be strong for him--and for me. That's when I started making dinner for us, mostly easy stuff like macaroni and cheese or tuna fish sandwiches. When he fell asleep on the couch, I covered him with a blanket. In the morning I made coffee and woke him so he'd get to work on time.Although I realized something was very wrong with Pa, I felt too afraid to tell anyone. What if they tried to take me away from him? I had just lost one parent; the thought of losing another terrified me. But Angie came over to my house too often to keep it from her. When she found out what was happening, she swatted my arm. "Why didn't you tell me?""Please, don't tell anyone," I begged.
"Promise?" But she wouldn't.The evening after that, the doorbell rang, and I peeked out the window to see Angie with a big man in a crisp blue suit. I kept quiet, pretending no one was home. But when the bell rang again, my pa woke from the couch and told