The God Box Read Online Free PDF Page B

onto the bed and groaned in frustration. "Why me?"Later, I said my prayers, reviewing the day--listing the bad33things I'd done and the good things I'd left undone. But once again I had a hard time deciding what I should and shouldn't have done. Should I have sided with Elizabeth at lunch? Or had I done right by keeping silent? During Bible Club, should I have joined Angie and Dakota in speaking up for gay people? Or should I have joined Elizabeth and Cliff in speaking out against them? Was I resisting evil by at least trying to keep my distance from Manuel? Or was I turning my back on him?"Please help me, Jesus," I whispered, my thoughts and feelings all twisted up again. "Forgive me, and help me do better tomorrow."As I tried to get to sleep, I kept thinking about Jesus and the woman at the well--and about Manuel at our lunch table. I snapped my wristband against my wrist, trying to stop thinking about him. And in my heart I asked Jesus, What would you do?34

Chapter 7
    THE FOLLOWING MORNINGWHEN I ARRIVED AT HOMEROOM, MANUEL AND
    ANGIE WERE ALREADY THERE, CHATTING QUIETLY.I said hi and sat down beside them.
    Suddenly I got the feeling people were staring over at us. But when I looked around, people glanced away. Was I getting paranoid?The bell rang, followed by announcements blasting from the loudspeaker. When the end-of-homeroom bell rang, people clamored out of the room. And in the last row, Jude Maldonado announced to one of his buddies: "If I saw two guys walk down the street holding hands, I'd take a baseball bat and kill them."An angry flush crept up the back of my neck. That moment made me want to pound Jude, even though I'd never been in a fight in my life.
    Impulsively, I turned to face him."Yeah?" Jude glared back at me. "What are you looking at?"I stared at him a moment, sizing him up. Then I turned away, annoyed at myself. His stupid comments didn't merit attention. But at the same time he'd fueled my suspicions: Had people begun to talk about Manuel?While I sat in morning classes, an even tougher question35weighed on my mind: If I associated with Manuel, would people start talking about me}When lunchtime arrived, I stood in the food line, gazing across the cafeteria at my lunch table. Angie and Dakota were talking with Manuel, but Elizabeth was conspicuously absent. That didn't totally surprise me. She was probably still riled at Dakota for making fun of her in Bible study."What can I get you today?" The cafeteria lady smiled at me.Glancing down at the aluminum trays, I settled on the fried chicken; then I trudged toward my table."Hi." Angie pulled a chair out for me.As I set my tray down, I noticed Elizabeth sitting across the room with Cliff, several of his football teammates, and some of their girlfriends. Manuel followed my gaze and asked, "How come Elizabeth isn't sitting with us?"I glanced away, letting Angie and Dakota respond. "I think she wants to keep closer tabs on Cliff," Angie told Manuel."She's jealous of his ex," Dakota added.Manuel's eyebrows arched up, as if he sensed there was more. Angie and Dakota exchanged a look."Well, actually . . ." Dakota pushed a loose strand of red curl behind her ear.
    "She also thinks we shouldn't associate with somebody ... gay.""Ah." Manuel nodded. Then he glanced over at me, as if once again implying I might be gay. But this time I refused to look away. Let him think what he wanted."Look..." Manuel set his fork down from his lasagna. "I don't want to break up your group. I'll go sit somewhere else.""No," Angie protested. "You don't have to do that.""Yeah, please don't!" Dakota agreed. "Elizabeth will get over it."I stayed silent, biting into a chicken wing. Even though I felt36bad for Manuel, the prospect of not having to be seen with him offered some relief."No, better I go," Manuel said, grabbing his tray. He pasted on a smile, but it seemed like the saddest smile in the world. "Thanks for letting me sit with you guys."Angie called after him. "Manuel!"He ignored