The Glacier Read Online Free PDF

people?
    SAMSON
    Why would you say that?
    ROBERT
    Because that’s what it is.
    SAMSON
    (more firmly)
    Like I said, it depends on how you look at it.
    The Quicksilver glimmers and glistens.
    SAMSON
    Many naturally occurring substances with poisonous properties also have therapeutic uses. This is called the law of similars, or, if you like, homeopathy.
    ROBERT
    So what does it do, then?
    SAMSON
    It’s different for everyone.
    ROBERT
    You’re not answering my questions.
    SAMSON
    You, sir, are momentarily in my charge and this substance does not concern you, except perhaps as an object of caution. Now I suggest we focus on the issue at hand or terminate this engagement.
    ROBERT
    I see. And what is the issue at hand?
    SAMSON
    Your condition.
    ROBERT
    Which is?
    SAMSON
    Chronic boredom. A pervading sense of uselessness. Loneliness, isolation, malaise. Textbook depression. Anxiety. General physical nervousness. Circadian inversion characterized diametrically by compulsive napping and insomnia. Regret. Remorse… Repressed anger resulting in self-deprecation, passive aggression—
    ROBERT
    All right, that’s enough.
    SAMSON
    Denial.
    ROBERT
    Thank you.
    SAMSON
    Contempt. Bitterness.
    ROBERT
    Yes, I get the picture.
    SAMSON
    Impotence.
    Robert glares at him, impotently.
    SAMSON
    Now what I would like to suggest is a very basic protocol—
    ROBERT
    I think I’ve had just about enough of your suggestions and amateur diagnoses. I don’t believe you have any idea what you’re talking about and I’ve half a mind to seek out a regulatory board or business bureau on behalf of the safety of the neighborhood.
    Stand-off. Samson speaks calmly and confidently without a shred of doubt as to the accuracy of his knowledge.
    SAMSON
    The Quicksilver is a profound therapy in which the patient, having exhausted all other options, is injected with the element. Whereby, a neurological transaction occurs such that the benefit and the cost are relative, and terminal. The patient undergoes a complete psychological rehabilitation, the prognosis of which can, paradoxically, only be described as both highly personal and transcendentally impersonal. But in so achieving this level of catharsis, the patient trades his or her life.
    ROBERT
    That doesn’t sound like a novelty item.
    SAMSON
    No. It’s very special.
    Robert considers this, briefly.
    ROBERT
    I’ll take it.
    SAMSON
    I’m sorry?
    ROBERT
    You’ve sold me.
    SAMSON
    Oh, I apologize, but there’s been a misunderstanding. The Quicksilver is not for sale.
    ROBERT
    But this is exactly what I’m looking for.
    SAMSON
    Yes, of course it is. It’s what we’re all looking for.
    ROBERT
    Then name your price.
    SAMSON
    Listen, I think this conversation is quite premature. Now why don’t we take our time and think this over—
    ROBERT
    I don’t have any more time. Look at me. I want the full deal while I still have a chance.
    SAMSON
    I am sorry.
    ROBERT
    But why?! I don’t have anything to lose!
    SAMSON
    Because you don’t deserve it! If you don’t have anything to lose, then you don’t deserve it. Now I recommend that you go back inside your house and think about what you really want for the remainder of your short time here on earth before you mess around with irreversible consequences. Perhaps you may find that you do indeed have something to lose.
    Robert is speechless. Defeated.
    Sam places a hand on his shoulder.
    SAMSON
    Listen. Let’s start out with something reasonable. On the house.
    He offers Robert a nice fat joint.
    SAMSON
    Warm comfortable clothes. Nice hot cup of ginger-lemon tea. Relaxing music. Some yard work. And a long walk around the block. You’ll feel like a new man. Won’t even recognize yourself.
    Robert takes the joint, cautiously.
    SAMSON
    And call this number. It may benefit you. Just make a reservation.
    Sam hands Robert a black business card embossed with silver letters. It