The Girl Who Never Was Read Online Free PDF

him truthfully. He is holding my hands in his and beaming at me, and I study him, just to make sure he's all right, the way I always do. 'How are you?'
    'I'm fine,'he assures me. 'So happy to see you.'
    'Good.'I smile, and then I hesitate, trip over my errand, think maybe I should turn around and leave.
    Dad notices. His smile turns quizzical. 'Is there something wrong, Selkie?'His expression grows more concerned. 'Aunt True and Aunt Virtue are all right, aren't they?'
    'They're fine,'I say. I clear my throat. 'Dad. Can you tell me about Mom?'
    He smiles the absently fond smile he has always smiled the few times he has spoken to me about her. 'One day,'he says, 'I walked into my Back Bay apartment to find a blond woman asleep on my couch. The most beautiful woman I had ever seen.'
    I am frustrated. I have heard this all before. 'But who was she?'
    'The most beautiful woman I had ever seen,'he says. 'And she gave me you, and she told me to name you Selkie.'
    'Did you love her?'I ask.
    'The most beautiful woman I had ever seen,'he repeats vaguely, his gaze unfocused.
    'Why did she leave me, Dad?'I try not to sound like I'm on the verge of tears.
    'She couldn't stay in Boston, of course,'he answers, and I am shocked because this is'finally'something new. I think of my aunts, saying that my mother hadn't belonged here.
    'Why not?'
    'And you were my right,'Dad says fiercely, looking at me.
    I blink, startled. 'What does that mean?'
    My father's gaze loses the unusual clarity it just had, softens. 'Where are your aunts?'he asks.
    'Home,'I answer briefly, trying to get him back to his mood of revelations. 'Didn't she love me?'
    'Love you?'he says, as if the words hold no meaning for him, and I am disappointed. I have lost my window of lucidity.
    I decide to just give one more question a shot. 'I went to Salem,'I start, reaching into my kangaroo pocket, closing my hand around the ancient pages.
    'Salem,'he repeats blankly.
    'There was this book,'I continue. 'Well, books,'I amend.
    He looks at me, vaguely interested. 'Books,'he says. 'Powerful things, books. All those words, trapped in writing.'
    It is so similar to what Will had said at the Which Museum that it gives me pause. I go on slowly. 'Your name was in them'you, Aunt True, Aunt Virtue.'
    Dad's eyes sharpen. 'What books?'he asks. 'What books were they exactly?'
    'I don't know,'I stammer honestly, taken aback by his reaction. 'I don't remember the names. But look'this is a list of the first settlers of Boston, and you're all listed.'I pull it out, show it to him eagerly.
    'We're an old family,'he interjects, and he sounds saner
    than I've ever heard him. He looks narrow eyed at the paper I have handed him.
    'And then there was this portrait, Dad,'I say, unfolding it, 'this painting, in another book, and it's Aunt True and Aunt Virtue. I mean, look, it's them, but it's from 1760.'I thrust it at him. 'And there was this epic poem, and''
    'Blaxton,'Dad cuts me off, and his voice is dangerously quiet. I have never heard him talk that way to me before, and for the first time, I might be scared of him but I think I am more confused.
    'Mom?'I say, because she is the only Blaxton I've ever heard of. 'What does she have to do with it?'
    'Not your mother,'he tells me, biting the words off. He drops the pages to the ground.
    I stoop to pick them up, stuff them back in my pocket. 'Then who''I start, but he lunges for me suddenly, grabbing my hands in his, the grip iron tight. 'You're hurting me,'I manage, but my voice sounds so small, and I feel frozen.
    'And if Blaxton's involved, then you've been talking to Benedict,'he accuses, his voice slicing.
    I look up into his face, and it is so contorted with fury that it doesn't even look like my dad anymore. 'Who?'I stammer.
    'Benedict Le Fay,'he spits out.
    'Faye'?'I echo vaguely, still thinking he must mean my mother somehow.
    My father catches my chin painfully between his fingers. 'What did you tell them?'he demands, and he is