The Fullness of Quiet Read Online Free PDF Page A

would be my friend. After the time we’d spent together the previous day, I was shocked when he acted exactly the same as every other day. I watched him walk into the classroom, stunned that he didn’t even look at me or say ‘Hi’. I dropped my eyes to my desk and thought for a long time.
    Joshua was strange. There was no doubt about that. I was sure I’d made it clear that I wanted to be his friend. Maybe I hadn’t been clear enough. I tried to think back to the moment we decided to leave the day before. I’d asked him something personal and he’d been reluctant to tell me. Maybe I’d pushed him too far. There was a reason why he was the way he was but I was clueless.
    Alex walked into the classroom and gave me a kiss on the cheek, startling me out of my reverie. I looked up and smiled at him. He was such a sweetheart. Charlie who was already seated on my other side, nudged me. I had no idea how long she’d been sat there. The biggest problem about sign language is that it’s almost impossible to have a private conversation unless you’re on your own. Unfortunately at school, this didn’t happen very often.
    “Joshua’s looking at you,” she signed. Alex’s head snapped up and he scanned the room, looking for the new boy. I tugged his sleeve violently. He looked back at me, eyes wide.
    “Stop it,” I signed. “I walked home with him yesterday.” I had blushed and I could feel my cheeks burning. Charlie was smiling at me. I tried to hide my face behind my hand and hair so Joshua wouldn’t see but I knew it was pointless. If he had been looking at me, he would have seen Charlie sign to me. I could just imagine his bashful eyes looking away quickly and his blush spreading through his cheeks. My own blush intensified at the thought. I could feel Charlie grinning like a fool.
    I turned my body towards the front of the class and refused to pay her any attention. As much as I tried to look like I wasn’t thinking about Joshua, I couldn’t get him out of my head. I stared at the back of him for most of the morning and it dragged on slower than I thought was possible. I hadn’t once looked at the teacher drawing diagrams and signing the lesson to us. I think the vacant expression on my face kept her from asking me any questions.
    The small red beacon in the top corner of the room flashed, announcing break time. The teacher approached my desk before I had gathered my things and asked me to stay behind. I sighed and sank back into my chair.
    After everyone had left, I approached my teacher’s desk and the look on her face was full of concern. She asked me if I was okay and I replied that everything was fine. She didn’t look convinced. I shrugged my shoulders.
    “It’s unlike you to be not paying attention Jocelyn,” she signed. I looked at my feet. When I looked back at her she was still waiting for a reply.
    “I’m sorry, Miss. I have a few things on my mind. I’ll try to be better after break.”
    “Anything I can help with?” I shook my head. She was such a nice lady. Kind and caring, not too harsh or quick to judge. She still didn’t look content with my answer but she let me go anyway.
    I walked out of the classroom, not really noticing what was around me. I felt a tap on my shoulder and looked up to see Joshua looking apprehensive. Before I could say anything he signed that he was sorry. I gave a small smile. There was nothing for him to be sorry about and I think he realized that but wanted to help anyway. We walked down the corridor, towards the playground.
    “Why did Miss want to see you?” he asked.
    “I wasn’t paying much attention in class,” I answered.
    “Why?” I was surprised by his keenness to want to talk but I took full advantage of it.
    “I don’t know.” I shrugged. “My mind was elsewhere.”
    ‘What were you thinking about?’
    ‘Yesterday.’
    ‘What, me?’ I was amazed at the way he engaged with me. It was still tricky for me to understand his hand movements.