The Fall Read Online Free PDF Page B

to the door with the glass to my ear and my eyes shut. For a long time I heard nothing. The glass sank into my lap as I drifted off to sleep.
    Footfall awoke me. I glanced at the clock — past midnight. Just like the night before, Durham locked my door and Moriarty went into the room next to mine. Weary, I rose and listened at the wall to his room.  
    The rustle of him undressing, the clonk of his watch on the dresser, followed by a female, ‘Oh!’
    The bed creaked and I heard him grunt. My ear felt as though it wanted to rot off my head, but I kept listening. I needed to know whether the woman was there of her own free will, but she made no other sound. Then, I heard him climax and pushed myself away to sit by the door again.
    Not long afterwards, the door to the room next to mine closed with a snap. Moriarty reached my room. Two black shadows cut through the sheet of light underneath the door. I felt as though I were drowning. After a too-long moment he finally left. I sprang to my feet, opened the window and sucked in the cold night air.  
    The moon gazed down upon me. La Luna . I’d always liked that name more than The Moon , or Der Mond .  
    My thoughts drifted back to the Sussex Downs, to the day I had remembered my true calling. All because little Peter had needed help hatching from his mother’s womb. Soothing my mind were the images of softly rolling hills and a sunset that appeared, that evening, to be so much more beautiful than ever before. My hands had seemed different, then. I had realised they weren’t the hands of a farmer, but of a woman who practised medicine. When the sun had dipped into the horizon, wisps of clouds were splashed with orange, pink, and violent purple just before the sky darkened. The stars had begun to pinprick the black velvet cloth that stretched above me. And just like every night in the Downs, my thoughts had wandered to the man I loved, and still did.

— day 3 —  

    T he maid clacked up the stairwell. Hastily, I collected my blanket and pillow and rushed to bed, pretending to sleep.
    The sliding of a bolt, a quiet knock, footsteps approaching my bed. I wondered if she ever questioned the bolt. Would she find it perfectly normal that I was locked into my room? Perhaps, if the woman next door was imprisoned, too.
      I opened my eyes and we exchanged pleasantries. She left me a jug of warm water and announced that my new clothing had been delivered.  
    ‘Miss Gooding, last night I thought I heard a woman cry in the room next to mine.’ Her face snapped shut. ‘It might have been a bad dream,’ I added and saw her relax a little. Did she think Moriarty mounted me, too? The thought that he could expect that of me stopped my heart. I forced my gaze and thoughts out the window.
    Miss Gooding left without a word. Her knees crackled a little as she curtsied.  
    She returned with a pile of clothes, placed them on my bed, and invited me to inspect. I noticed the quizzical look she tried to hide.
    There were silk and wool walking dresses, wool skirts, lightly laced cotton and silk shirts, and a collection of undergarments and accessories. The pants, shirts, a coat, and cravats must have caused the confusion.
    At the bottom of the pile I found a cloak. I knew very little about fashion, but this one must have cost a fortune — it was made of finest black wool, richly trimmed with silvery fur I could not identify. It looked like fox, but I had never seen one in that shade of grey. Was it Moriarty’s wish to turn me into a lady? How ridiculous! Obviously, he wanted me to masquerade as a male medical doctor during the daytime and be a decorative female in the evening. I shot a glance at Gooding, wondering whether she shared his bed, too. If so, she probably believed he loved her.
    I dismissed her and picked a dress, feeling very revolutionary. I had lived as a man for so many years among a then exclusively-male medical establishment. However, women were now allowed to enrol at