The Everything Orgasm Book Read Online Free PDF Page A

challenging and scary at times. There are sometimes dark and uncomfortable feelings lurking inside. You may be tempted to avoid all of that unknown territory inside of you, because it is just too overwhelming. This is a natural response to fear. If this process is truly overwhelming, consider consulting with a clinical sexologist or a therapist. But make sure the therapist you choose has sex-positive attitudes herself. You can assess this by asking some direct questions about sex and seeing how comfortable the therapist is in response. Also note how accepted you feel about your sexuality.
    EXERCISE: Journal entry. Consider who and what shaped your sexual attitudes. Are any of these attitudes a source of shame? Ask yourself what could possibly be wrong with safely experiencing sexual pleasure. Open a dialogue between the part of you that wants acceptance of your sexuality and the part of you that still feels shame and limits your sexual exploration.
Expand Your Mind
    The second step in becoming truly sex-positive and shame-free is to challenge any limiting beliefs you may have about sex. Some of these limitations will arise through your self-reflection on the topic. You may be someone who is not daunted by the journey inward and the study of your own perceptions. But are you open to the variety of sexual possibilities that you have not yet experienced? Expanding your mind means doing a little research outside your comfort zone.
    Perhaps you are reluctant or scared to look outside of yourself for answers or new information. You may lack trust in the knowledge and experience of others. Or perhaps your ego gets in the way of allowing another person to be the expert or simply have something of value to offer you. If any of these ideas are true for you, then ask yourself why you would limit yourself to information coming only from within. What is keeping you from allowing other explorers of sexual pleasure from influencing you in some way?
    Expanding your mind is easier today than ever before, although not all neighborhoods and communities are places where this can happen so readily. There are, however, a plethora of books, videos, websites, radio talk shows, and even television shows available to support your erotic exploration. There are also workshops that are designed specifically for enriching your sex life. Stores have knowledgeable staff that cater to your erotic needs. They sell books, toys, lube, props, and costumes, and even offer educational classes and workshops on sexuality. There is no need to stay stuck in a rut with your sexuality when there are so many resources available to you.
    EXERCISE: Consider some sexual activity or behavior that you have never tried and are perhaps a bit wary of — for example, anal sex. Do some research on the topic. Get a book or video and learn something about it and then decide whether or not to give it a try.
Talk to Others
    The third step is to find people you know who are open to discussing sexuality in a new and enlightened way. Talking to a lover or to friends about your attitudes and views about sex can help you both clarify how you feel and possibly give you new perspectives that you would not otherwise have accessed. Hearing people you know describe their sexuality can help give you courage to articulate your own feelings and desires.
    If you don't know of anyone to do this with, consider using the Internet to help you connect with others who are also exploring new horizons in the realm of sexual attitudes and behaviors. There are also a growing number of sex therapists and clinical sexologists who are able to assist your growth process. Ultimately, your sex life will be most enhanced if you can talk openly with your lover. But if you need some support toward that goal, you can get it.
Body Image
    Having considered your general attitudes about sex, let's now explore your feelings and attitudes about your body. Your body image is your subjective concept of your physical