The Dreamers Read Online Free PDF Page A

have fun again today, right?’
    ‘Yeah, I guess so.’
    Ceris bit her lip and fell silent.
    At lunchtime, they found a coffee shop. Bags of shopping sat at their feet, leaning against the table leg.
    Jennifer stirred her coffee listlessly. It was now or never.
    ‘I hope this sun holds out,’ said Ceris. ‘I want to go to the beach tomorrow. You should come, you know. The sea in Cilfachglas Cove is gorgeous. Real still and it catches the sun. If it’s hot out, then the sea is warm too. You don’t get much wind with all those cliffs around.’
    ‘We need to talk.’
    Ceris laughed. ‘Don’t sound so serious! You sound like you’re about to break up with me.’
    Jennifer squirmed. ‘I don’t want to hurt you.’
    Ceris’s face fell. ‘So you are breaking up with me.’
    ‘We’re not girlfriends, we just went out together one time. Ceris, I’m really sorry. It doesn’t feel right.’
    ‘I thought you liked me!’
    ‘I do like you. I think we could be good friends. But dating you doesn’t feel right.’
    ‘Is it because I’m not a proper lesbian?’
    ‘What?’
    ‘I could be dykier. Let’s give it another go.’
    ‘It’s nothing you’ve done, I promise.’
    ‘So, you’re just a bitch then?’
    ‘If you want to think of me like that, fine. I would like to be your friend though.’
    ‘I’ve got plenty of friends. I don’t need you.’ Ceris gathered up her shopping bags and stormed out of the shop, leaving behind her coffee and her lunch, both untouched.
     

     
    Arianwen sits alone in her bedroom. The noises of the house, her mother preparing food and doing her daily dusting, her father loudly practising his upcoming sermon, wash over her.
    She gazes out of her window. She cannot see the bakery but her eyes fix on the top of the hill. Beyond lies town, the bakery and Blodwyn. Arianwen knows she cannot have her now, not ever but still cannot cast the thought of her aside.
    She rises , fetches her pen and ink and her writing paper. Allowing her gaze to wander between the window and her paper, she writes.
     
    My dearest Blodwyn,
                                              You are not mine. You were never mine. You hate me now; you think I am a sinner. You look at me with disgust. I am sorry I gave you my letter. I should have known you could never love me.
    We were children together. Do you remember? We used to play together. I remember racing you down the hill to the beach. You always won.
    I have always followed you. I have always been behind you, struggling to catch up. You barely even looked at me yet I fell for you. I know I should leave you behind now but I cannot. I love you and I can never stop.
    I can never stop following you.
    Your Arianwen
     
    Arianwen rested her pen in her inkpot and read over her letter. She could never give Blodwyn another letter but neither could she let them go, not this one, nor those hidden under her floorboards.
    She folded the letter neatly and slid it into the envelope under the floor with the others. The letters would stay there and so would the love in her heart. She would keep it hidden away, a shameful secret.
     

     
    On the bus home, Jennifer glared out of the window. Ceris hated her now. They couldn’t be friends, not after all this. She sighed. Her dad had so long ed for her to find a nice girl and settle down. But he had died without seeing her sorted out, as he put it. That had always been her dad’s aim for her, to get her sorted out with a good job and a partner.
    She glanced around at the bus. Everybody seemed to be partnered up. Across from her a teenage couple in black hoodies held hands and talked softly to each other. In front of her, an elderly couple bickered in a friendly sort of way about whether to have the sausages or the chops for tea. They all had someone. Jennifer had someone; she just couldn’t be with her.
    The bus pulled into Cilfachglas bus stop and Jennifer disembarked, thanking the