The Decimation of Mae (The Blue Butterfly) Read Online Free PDF

four years ago with my father
in a fatal car accident, she had remained true and returned to help me through
the most horrific hell I could face.
     
    It would be another three years before I saw her again,
but this time she would be taking me back, as should be, mother and daughter
together.

Chapter Three
     

‘Do not pity yourself, others will do that.’
     
     
Aged 21
     
    I smirked to myself as I circled the spoon in my coffee,
the pattern it made deeply mesmerising. The couple at the opposite table had
been arguing for over twenty minutes. Apparently she wanted to buy her mother a
Kindle for Christmas; he said they were way too expensive, around thirty pounds
more than he wanted to spend on her. So then she said the photo shoot he wanted
to arrange for his mother could take a swim in the canal because that was
around forty pounds more than a Kindle.
    Thank God I would be buying just one gift this year - the
semi-expensive bottle of wine I always treated myself to when watching A Wonderful
Life .
    I turned my gaze away from them and sighed as I saw the
first snow of the year collect on the bottom edge of the windowsill. I hated
snow with a passion. I’d fallen on the damn stuff when I was around nine and
broke my arm, a week before the gymnastics tournament I’d had a good chance of
winning.
    Numerous couples strolled past, each carrying a vast array
of gift bags and treats for the holiday period, their bonuses from the yearly
toil at work providing them with the luxury of what Christmas was.
    High powered businessmen rushed into jewellers to buy
last minute expensive offerings for their wives that would get them laid for
the first time since their birthday in the summer. Giggling children looked to
the sky, each opening their mouths eagerly to catch as many flakes as possible
as the many festive lights in the store windows danced across their faces,
lighting them up even more than their own excitement.
    I smiled and wiggled my fingers at a little girl, no more
than four, who stared at me through the window, her hand holding tightly onto
her mother’s, who was currently discussing the latest gossip with a friend she
hadn’t seen for a week.
    Her lips twitched nervously before the small smile grew
into a grin and she waved back hesitantly. Her mother looked down then turned
to see what had caught her daughter’s attention. She narrowed her eyes then
pulled the little girl round to the front of her and out of view.
    I sighed sadly as the window reflected to me what the
mother had seen. I quickly turned back to the interior of the café, hiding
myself from both the public and myself.
     
    John, one of the waiters who worked in the small café I
always frequented, smiled sadly at me then winked. I hated his pity, hated the
way he would give me the biggest pastry or how he would often slide me an extra
coffee when his boss was in the back. Yet I smiled back, as always, before I
stood and pulled on my coat, slipping my scarf around my neck and tugging on my
gloves.
    “See ya tomorrow, Mae,” John called to me as I headed
towards the door.
    I smiled and lifted my hand to him, ignoring the way his
eyes roved over my coat and then down to my backside. I needed a new coat, one
that preferably covered my backside.
     
    The cold bit at my face when I stepped into the street,
the ice that already covered the pavement made my feet skid in my cheap shoes
and my hand shot out to grab onto the lamppost.
    “Whoa, steady.”
    I turned to the voice as hands shot around my waist to
halt my fall. “Thank you.” I smiled appreciatively at the man as he held on to
me tightly.
    His smile dropped and he nodded quickly before he let me
go and walked off hurriedly, his own feet skidding in his haste to get away
from the monster. I stared after him, insensitive to his reaction. I was
hardened to their responses when they saw me, detachment and disinterest being
a blessed emotion.
     
    The walk home took longer than the usual fifteen