soft
sigh. “I have a question for you now.” She leans close to me, almost touching
my face with her lips.
“Okay.” I
attempt to lean back but my hands lift to touch her face, trying to see if she
is real.
“What is your
fantasy? What do you desire the most?” Her breath tickles my lips as she leans
forward more, brushing her soft red lips against mine. Our masks rub as she
bites at my lower lip.
My ragged breath
shudders as I smile and close my eyes. My entire body is rocked with a shiver
as one of her fingers brushes delicately across my breast.
“What is your
fantasy?” She cups my breast, squishing it. “Go for something you think you
won’t ever have. Something really erotic.”
Somehow the
words fall from my lips. “My fantasy is to have sex with someone, like in a
room full of people but no one knows we are doing it. To be seen but not seen.”
I confess, but she stops touching me. She pulls away, leaving me breathless and
wondering what the hell is going on.
I swear I
blink and the clicking of my heels on the cement makes me realize we are out of
the car in a magical courtyard. There are lanterns and sparkly lights
surrounding us, casting shadows with the trees all around. “What is this
place?” The twinkling lights twirl in the air as if they are stars in the sky.
Out of the
haze of twinkling lights, a man in a black mask and a well tailored suit walks
up to me along the walkway to the house that resembles a castle. He smiles from
under the mask, and I can’t help but give him the look, as if I am safer from
under the mask.
He’s wearing a
black pinstripe suit with a red tie. He’s tall with a larger build and
sandy-brown hair that is styled like he means business, something that makes me
grin. At first I’m certain he’s a dream, the way the lights sparkle and the way
he looks exactly like Prince Charming. As he gets closer his navy-blue eyes
catch mine from behind his black mask. I am memorized by everything about him
and the best I can do is wobble and sway, muttering, “Hi.”
“Hello,” he
nods, going past me, taking the vision of beauty with him.
It’s dark
inside as I enter, not even realizing I have left the magical garden. The
hallway of the house is huge, with red and black couches filled with people
sitting and laughing. They each hold a drink or are making out with the person
next to them. It moves like an ocean, riding the waves of music. Nothing is too
loud or too cold or too much of anything. It’s perfect. The air tickles me, the
song plays inside of me, and the waves of the movements are seamless.
I trail along
the hall that’s wide enough to be a room, running my finger along the blood-red
wall as I round the corner. Everyone is speaking to others in dark corners,
hiding in thick drapes, or leaning against walls that the light doesn't quite
reach.
People rub and
grind their bodies against each other, and for some bizarre reason I want to
join in. I want to do this. It feels fantastic, like I could dance with and rub
against anyone. I walk toward a room filled with people dancing in a way I
didn't expect. They waltz and move as if I have gone back in time. The fancy
dresses, albeit short ones, make the dance moves seem fluid.
The crowd on
the edges is liquid too; they move in waves of laughter and drinking. They
don't stumble the way I do and somehow they manage to secretly run their hands
across my body. My coat is dragged off as hands squeeze my breasts through the
silky fabric of my dress. My movements are lost in the moments I can’t trace,
part of the haze that is the room and my fuzzy mind.
Hands grab me,
pulling me back to grind my ass in the stranger’s hard groin. Someone kisses my
neck as a young woman with a black dress and red mask approaches us. She runs her
hands through my hair, touching my face and leaving wet kisses on my chest as I
grind harder into the groin behind me. He grips me tighter, wanting more from
me as the woman with the red mask
Twelve Steps Toward Political Revelation