The Betrayal Read Online Free PDF Page A

guilt and sink, instead, into amnesia, even if only for a few hours. He should have mentioned meeting Karin. They were best friends once yet Nadine never spoke about their friendship, never mentioned her name. Throughout that holiday in Monsheelagh they had seemed inseparable but, two years later, when he and Nadine exchanged sultry glances of recognition through the slash of lasers and dazzling strobes, she told him their friendship was over. She had gone backstage with Jenny to see him after the gig and made it clear that she had no intention of discussing Karin Moylan.
    ‘But I thought the two of you were best mates,’ he said. ‘What happened?’
    ‘I don’t want to talk about her.’ Her voice had been clipped and hard. ‘Not now, not ever .’
    Over the years that followed she remained true to her word, which was hardly surprising when he thought about how their holiday ended. The memory would be indelible, especially for Karin, but throughout the meal she never once referred to Nadine or that summer.
    ‘Do you ever regret leaving Shard?’ she asked when they returned to the bar for an after dinner drink. ‘You were going stratosphere in those days. What was it the media called you? Ireland’s answer to… Metallica?’
    ‘It was actually Guns n’ Roses,’ he admitted, modestly. He admired the perfect curves of her knees as she crossed her legs. Was she wearing tights or stockings with lace tops, he wondered. Was there a smooth, silken gap of skin between her thighs and the line of her panties? He was familiar with female underwear, the frippery and the functional, hanging on clotheslines, drying over radiators, knickers, thongs, tights and bras tumbling from the hot press when he was searching for socks in the mornings. But this was an alluring fantasy and very different from the detritus of family living.
    ‘Of course it was,’ she said. ‘Guns n’ Roses… my goodness. How life changes. Selling musical instruments instead of playing them must have been quite a difficult transition for you.’
    Was she mocking him? He flattened his anger. These days it lay dangerously close to the surface.
    Nadine had asked him once, soon after Shard broke up in a storm of recriminations and accusations, if the band had seen her as a Yoko Ono, responsible for causing friction between them. It was a grandiose comparison yet, in her own way, she had upset the agreement that parents or girlfriends should not interfere with Shard’s upward projection and ambitions. He had assured her she was not to blame. Ultimately, it all came down to his inept use of a condom. Such inattention to detail altered everything.
    ‘Circumstances change,’ he said.
    ‘Sacrifices. We all make them sooner or later.’ Karin lifted a tiny umbrella from her cocktail glass and twirled it between her thumb and index finger. ‘Do you ever think about reforming the band?’
    ‘Occasionally.’ He shrugged. ‘But then I think about walking on the moon. We all have our dreams.’
    ‘But why is it a dream? Bands are always making comebacks these days. Shard had a brilliant reputation.’
    ‘You’re talking a long time ago. Who do you think remembers us now?’
    ‘You’d be surprised. It’s a new era. Social media. Facebook. YouTube. You could get the message out quickly enough.’
    He shook his head. ‘If only it was so easy. Tõnality takes all my time these days.’
    ‘You’d another life before Tõnality.’
    ‘I never had a chance to have another life.’ It came out unintentionally, the resentment he usually managed to hide and Karin, aware that she had touched a nerve, drew back slightly.
    ‘Sorry. I’m being intrusive.’
    ‘It’s okay. It’s just… it’s a while since I’ve talked to anyone about Shard.’
    ‘Are you still in touch with the band?’
    ‘I meet Daryl occasionally, but I haven’t seen the others for years. Reedy is the only one still professionally involved in music. Twenty-five years is a long time to