The Best Rootin' Tootin' Shootin' Gunslinger in the Whole Damned Galaxy Read Online Free PDF Page A

last. He paused. “But I want you to do me a favor."
    Â Â Â Â Â Â  “Certainly."
    Â Â Â Â Â Â  “Don’t tell the others. They might feel about it the way you do."
    Â Â Â Â Â Â  “I can’t promise to lie to them,” said the blue man. “But I see no reason why the subject should ever arise, and I certainly will not bring it up."
    Â Â Â Â Â Â  “Fair enough,” said Flint.
    Â Â Â Â Â Â  “What about Billybuck?” asked Mr. Ahasuerus, gesturing to the marksman. “He may have overheard us."
    Â Â Â Â Â Â  Flint looked over to the Dancer, who was still staring blankly into time and space, his handsome face totally without expression.
    Â Â Â Â Â Â  “Not a chance. Hell, it would take something like Doc Holliday or Jesse James to shake him out of one of those trances."
    Â Â Â Â Â Â  Which was as close as Thaddeus Flint ever came to prophecy.
    Â 

 
    Chapter 3
    Â 
    Â  The Dancer was quick, the Dancer was sly,  
    The Dancer just lived to see his foes die.
    With his ice-cold gaze and his lust to kill,  
    The Dancer would fire and their blood would spill.
    Billybuck Dancer, Billybuck Dancer, firing those forty-fours.
    Nerves of steel, resolute,  
    And by God could he shoot!  
    The Dancer was bigger than all outdoors!  
    â€”from “The Ballad of Billybuck Dancer"
    Â 
    Â Â Â Â Â Â  Tojo stuck his homely head through the open doorway. “Do you mind if I come in?” he stammered.
    Â Â Â Â Â Â  “Suit yourself,” said the Dancer in his lilting Texas drawl.
    Â Â Â Â Â Â  The hunchback shuffled into the compartment. Billybuck Dancer, clad in blue jeans and a T-shirt, lay back on his cot, surrounded by posters and tintypes of famed lawmen and desperadoes he had accumulated on Earth. On his bedstand were two photos, one a sepia-toned picture of his parents, the other a print of a rather nondescript girl in a gingham dress. Both resided in cheap plastic frames.
    Â Â Â Â Â Â  “You ain’t come visiting in quite a while,” said the Dancer. “Got any special reason for it?"
    Â Â Â Â Â Â  Tojo nodded. “I stopped by to tell you that I’m your new assistant."
    Â Â Â Â Â Â  “Didn’t know I needed another. Has Thaddeus got some new trick in mind?"
    Â Â Â Â Â Â  “No."
    Â Â Â Â Â Â  “Well, then?"
    Â Â Â Â Â Â  “It’s the girls,” said Tojo uncomfortably.
    Â Â Â Â Â Â  “What about ’em?"
    Â Â Â Â Â Â  “They don’t want to do the wheel trick anymore—the one where you throw knives at them."
    Â Â Â Â Â Â  “Don’t know why not,” said the Dancer, genuinely puzzled. “I ain’t never missed."
    Â Â Â Â Â Â  “I know,” said the hunchback. “But they kept complaining to Thaddeus, and he finally gave in to them."
    Â Â Â Â Â Â  “If you’re part of the act, who’s gonna do the barking?"
    Â Â Â Â Â Â  Tojo shrugged. “I don’t know. Swede, probably, or maybe Thaddeus."
    Â Â Â Â Â Â  “Well, don’t just set up housekeeping in the doorway,” said the Dancer, walking over to his refrigerator. “Come on in. Want a Coke?"
    Â Â Â Â Â Â  “That would be nice,” said the hunchback.
    Â Â Â Â Â Â  The Dancer pulled out two cans, popped them open, and handed one to Tojo, who was busy adjusting himself on one of the spartan wooden chairs.
    Â Â Â Â Â Â  “These ain’t really Cokes, you understand,” said the blond marksman. “The robots did the best they could, but like Thaddeus keeps saying, they ain’t none too bright."
    Â Â Â Â Â Â  Tojo took a sip and managed to avoid making a