The Best Rootin' Tootin' Shootin' Gunslinger in the Whole Damned Galaxy Read Online Free PDF

face. “It tastes just fine, Dancer."
    Â Â Â Â Â Â  “You think so?” asked the Dancer curiously. “They taste pretty awful to me."
    Â Â Â Â Â Â  “Well, it could do with a little less carbonation,” admitted Tojo.
    Â Â Â Â Â Â  “And a little more flavor,” agreed the Dancer. He sat down on the edge of his bed, facing the hunchback. “You’re looking kind of sickly,” he said in an amused tone of voice. “Is it the Coke, or the thought of all them knives flying at you?"
    Â Â Â Â Â Â  “Neither."
    Â Â Â Â Â Â  “You sure?” persisted the sharpshooter. “’Cause if you’re worried about the act, you ain’t got no need to be. I only hit what I aim at."
    Â Â Â Â Â Â  “I know, Dancer. It’s just that I like being a barker.” He paused, absently took a sip of his drink, and couldn’t help showing his distaste for it this time.
    Â Â Â Â Â Â  “Even saying the same stuff night in and night out?"
    Â Â Â Â Â Â  “Even so."
    Â Â Â Â Â Â  “Funny,” commented the Dancer.
    Â Â Â Â Â Â  “Not really. Ever since I learned to speak I’ve had this stammer. Other kids dreamed of being Mickey Mantle or Johnny Unitas. All I ever wanted was to be six feet tall and make myself understood. I can’t do anything about my height, but the translating device hides my stammer from the audience."
    Â Â Â Â Â Â  “You want to be six feet tall, why not have one of them shapechanging operations like Gloria and Mr. Romany had?"
    Â Â Â Â Â Â  “I am what I am,” said the hunchback.
    Â Â Â Â Â Â  “You sound like that sailor in the comic strips,” said the Dancer with a smile. “If you think you’re supposed to be a little bitty feller with a lump on his back, how come you don’t think you should be tongue-tied in front of the audience, too?"
    Â Â Â Â Â Â  “Because I use the same device everyone else uses,” said Tojo. He paused. “I spent my whole life being either teased or pitied or tolerated. Thaddeus finally gave me a chance to work, and now I’m good at what I do."
    Â Â Â Â Â Â  “So?"
    Â Â Â Â Â Â  “If I changed, it would make all the abuse and all the work seem meaningless. I’ve made my peace with what I am."
    Â Â Â Â Â Â  “You sure?” asked the Dancer. “Sounds to me like what you are right now is a target in my act. If being a barker is so all-fired important to you, tell him no."
    Â Â Â Â Â Â  Tojo shook his head. “It’s for the good of the show."
    Â Â Â Â Â Â  The sharpshooter chuckled. “More likely, it’s for the good of Thaddeus’ love life. I can just about guess what Lori and Jenny threatened him with."
    Â Â Â Â Â Â  “Maybe,” said the hunchback with a shrug. “But what’s done is done. Is there anything special I have to know for the act?"
    Â Â Â Â Â Â  “Not really. I’d tell you not to duck, but that’s why we got all them straps on the wheel. Just ask one of the girls what order I do my tricks in."
    Â Â Â Â Â Â  “All right,” said Tojo. He looked around the compartment. “I haven’t seen your posters in quite a while."
    Â Â Â Â Â Â  “You ain’t come around in quite a while,” replied the Dancer.
    Â Â Â Â Â Â  “I’ve meant to,” said Togo apologetically. “You’re one of my only friends."
    Â Â Â Â Â Â  “I’d have thought you had lots of ’em, a friendly little guy like you."
    Â Â Â Â Â Â  Tojo shook his head. “Very few, really. Alma’s back on Earth, and Gloria is dancing on Hesporite III, and Monk doesn’t speak to