The Battle Read Online Free PDF Page A

been a spermotoxicosis outbreak among the game designers.
    But my complaints were unjustified. The project was too costly. There was no room for improvisation and someone’s erotic fantasies. The corporation knew its audience too well. It had probably run a bunch of tests. Looked at how the pulse and blood pressure of zit-covered teens varied with the different breast sizes being shown. The mighty storm missed nothing, Big Brother sees all...
    Long gone were the times when postal services would carefully read your letters to better target ads. Stone age tactics. Now, even the free welfare TVs vigilantly tracked the position of the viewers’ pupils, determining what female faces attracted you the most. A week of unobtrusive monitoring, and already every interactive ad banner you ran into would be smiling at you with the painfully familiar face of that first love of yours...
    In response to Lizzie’s raised eyebrow, I waved my hand and began to undress. I carelessly hung my gear on the marble statue as I said to her,
    "All’s well. We completely duped the enemy. I’ll take a couple-hour nap. Why don’t you put Orcus in charge of the off-duty ear-choppers? The castle’s teeming with guests. They’re waiting for the gathering that’s been rescheduled for tonight. They might wander off and start making trouble, Fallen One forbid..."
    Lizzie’s pensive gaze settled on the soft velvet bed. I shook my head. "No, Liz! I need a nap. Shoo!"
    The she-elf snorted and headed for the exit like a runway model, pointedly shaking her firm athletic buttox. Just like a cat, wandering alone.
    She was hot as hell. And she was grateful to her creator in a special, passionate way. But there was just no spiritual connection, like I’d experienced with Taali. And Liz simply didn’t knock me off my feet like Ruata.
    Speaking of whom... Drifting off to sleep, I pulled up the princely interface and confirmed my attendance at the upcoming meeting. Regretfully, most of the control functions for The House of Night were locked by the moderators. Yes, everything was by the book: the treasurer controlled the finances, the gunsmith ran the armory. But still, there were ways to get around that.
    I gave the guards a holiday: free access to the wine cellars, fish on the menu for a month, and all armor was to be painted pink.
    Now I can finally sleep!

 
    Chapter Three
     
    R andom quotes from in-game forums and open chat:
     
    "Peeps, did everyone’s Patriarch quests get cancelled?! OMG, I’ve spent six days collecting the Alliance’s ears! Trampled the Original City NPCs, lost two PK items! WTF?!"
    ...
    "How do I pm?"
    "Alt+F4 on the virtual keyboard, n00b!"
    "Thnx..."
    ...
    "I’m fed up playing Light, why we got so many jerks?! These n00bs don’t know shit! Their temple’s busted up, The Sun God looks like he ain’t seen a dentist in fifty years, all the quests fell through, and minus 50 xp points! That’s it, I’m switching to the dark side. Adios, Pinocchios!"
    ...
    "Badaboom PK!!!"
    "Not funny..."
    ...
    "Get your latest AlterWorld News issue! One-point-five gigabytes of info, stats, screens, and never-before-seen videos – all for just one gold! The sinister poisoning of the Light leaders, the Patriarch’s murder, the Temple massacre! All this for an insanely low price! Ten percent of sales profit will be donated to the city restoration fund!"
    ...
    "Ten-pound mithril fragment for sale; remnant of the alchemy bolt that destroyed The Temple. High value item!"
    ...
    "The Basilisk’s remains rotted away before they could be looted! Looks like the monster was damaged mostly by the explosion. None of the lone fighters or the spontaneously assembled groups could defeat it. Our guys guarded the corpse for two hours so that the dark kamikaze wouldn’t get through to loot it. Judging by the screens from the Chinese raid, there could’ve been at least ten artifacts up for grabs!"
    "They say the Brits offered Badaboom a million gold for looting