The Bare Bum Gang and the Valley of Doom Read Online Free PDF Page B

a joke. I'm not in the Bare Bum
Gang any more. I want to be in your
gang.'
    Now, you're probably amazed and
disgusted by this. I know I would be, if
I were you. How could I even dream of
joining the evil Dockery Gang? Weren't
they all bullies and wicked villains and
really, really naughty?
    Yes.
    Yes.
    And yes.
    But I had no gang and no friends. I was
alone and defenceless in a cruel world. I
thought that even a rubbish, nasty gang like
Dockery's was better than no gang at all.
And there was something else. I wanted to
prove to the Bare Bum Gang that I didn't
need them, that I could do perfectly well
without them, thank you very much.
    Dockery smiled. It wasn't pretty. He
looked like a turnip that'd been hit with a
spade. Then he laughed. It sounded like the
screeching of a baboon with rabies. As he
laughed the rest of his gang joined in.
    Then Dockery gave me a shove. One of
the others had knelt down behind me so I
tripped over him and fell on my back. The
oldest trick in the book, but I had fallen for
it. Now they all laughed so hard I thought
they were going to throw up.

    'Why should we let you into our gang?'
said Dockery when he'd calmed down.
    'I know where the Bare Bum Gang keep
their sweets. And I know where all the traps
are.'
    I was still lying on my back. I hadn't been
able to get up because Dockery had his fat
foot on my chest.
    There was a flicker of interest in Dockery's
eyes. He had good cause to fear the traps
around the Bare Bum Gang den. Many
times he'd fallen into one of the Smarties-tube
Fart Bomb traps, or a Squirty Ink
trap, or even the much-feared Dog Poo
trap.
    'But I don't get it. Why do you want
to be in our gang?' he said slyly. 'You've
always been our mortal enemy.'
    'I don't want to talk about it. Let's just
say I have my reasons.'
    Dockery looked deep into my eyes, trying
to see if I was lying or not. Obviously he
didn't know that I never told lies. Well, not
unless I really had to, like in an emergency
– say if we were invaded by aliens and
I knew where the Prime Minister was
hiding, and I told the aliens he was in
Peru, rather than in our garden shed, or
whatever.
    'How do I know this isn't some sort of
trick?'
    'Because I'm here, and you've got me, and
if it was a trick you could marmalize me.'
    Marmalizing was something Dockery
understood all too well. He gave a little
nod, took his foot off my chest and held
out his hand to pull me up off the ground.
But as this was still Dockery, when I'd got
halfway up he let go and I fell back in the
mud, which set off the baboon-laughing all
over again.
    Then they trooped back into their tent
and I was left alone, not knowing what to
do. A few seconds later, Carl's greasy head
came poking through the tent flap.
    'You coming in or not?' he said with a
smirk. Or was it a scowl? Actually it was in
between – a smowl or a scirk.
    Whatever it was, I followed him into the
dark smelly interior of the Dockery den.

Chapter Eleven
THE TEST
    It was pitch black. I was in Mrs Cake's front
garden.
    I was holding the rotten egg.
    Dockery and his gang had a supply of
rotten eggs that they kept in their den the
same way the Bare Bum Gang kept sweets.
Dockery had written dates on them in felt
tip. Some of them were two years old, which
was how you knew they were really, really
rotten. Eggs of Mass Destruction, you could
call them.
    I sneaked up to the front door. I could
hear the snickering Dockery and his
greasy friends behind the hedge.
    I was supposed to throw the Egg of Mass
Destruction through Mrs Cake's letter box.
I wasn't happy about this, and I knew it
was a Bad Thing, but it was the only way
I'd be allowed to join the Gang.
    I reached the door. I could see some
light escaping from between a chink in
the curtains, and I could hear the telly. I
paused.
    'Get on with it, poo-brain,' hissed Dockery
from behind me. 'We haven't got all night.'
    With my heart in my throat I carefully
lifted up the flap. The sound of the telly
spilled out. People were laughing. I