The Bare Bum Gang and the Valley of Doom Read Online Free PDF

friends. Find a
new hobby. Whittle a stick. Collect some
stamps.'
    'I know exactly what you did,' I said,
beginning to lose my temper. 'You made
some kind of a sneaky plan with Dockery.
You knew we were going to get ambushed,
and that's why you were right there to
rescue us. And you'd already scoffed our
sweets and hidden them in my binocular
case . . .'
    I sort of dwindled into silence then,
because I didn't have any proof of what
I'd said and I could see from the smile on
Alfie's face that he knew it.
    'It doesn't matter what you think,' he
said, still smiling. 'Everyone knows you're a
liar and a sweet-stealer and a useless Gang
Leader. They all like me more than you.'
And then he paused and his face suddenly
looked so sly you could have used it to show
what the word 'sly' meant to someone who
was learning how to speak English – say an
alien or a Frenchman. 'Especially Jenny,' he
continued. 'She told me how much more
she likes me than you.'
    Well, that was too much for me.
    'You keep your horrible slimy hands off
her, you monster,' I yelled.
    And I admit, I seriously considered giving
him a jolly good thump on the side of the
head. But I didn't, because even thoughhe
was a bit taller than me, he was weakand
skinny, so it would be bullying. Anyway, it
would be descending to his level and you
shouldn't use violence to solve arguments,
unless you're arguingwith the Nazis,
and violence is the only language they
understand. Except German, of course.
    So I gave him a little poke on the shoulder
instead. And when I say a little poke, I don't
really mean a gigantic big poke. I mean a
really, really little poke. Hard enough to,
say, knock a ladybird off a twig or burst a
spit bubble, but not hard enough to poke
through a piece of tissue paper. Unless you'd
just blown your nose on it, and you had a
really runny cold. So what I'm saying is I
didn't poke him very hard at all.
    But the way he acted you'd have thought
I'd shot him with a high-powered rifle.
And not in the shoulder, but right in the
middle of his eye. He threw himself down
and writhed around in agony, holding his
face.
    'My eye! My eye!' he screamed. 'I'm
blinded. Blinded for life.'

    It was then that I heard the gasp behind
me. I spun round to see the whole of the
Bare Bum Gang there, along with a load
of other children just arriving for school.
Alfie had seen them coming, and that was
why he went into his act. It was obvious.
They must have realized what he was up
to. Mustn't they?
    'That is just about the nastiest thing I've
ever seen,' said Jenny.
    'Yeah, I know,' I began. 'I mean, the way
he—'
    But Jenny shoved me aside as easily as
you throw the duvet off your bed in the
morning.
    'Poking a kid in the eye,' said The Moan,
following close behind Jennifer, 'is the worst
thing you can do. It's not fighting fair. It's
cheating. Everyone knows that.'
    'But I didn't . . . I . . . it was . . .'
But it was all too late. They crowded
around Alfie and no one was listening to
me.
    'He just poked me in the eye for no
reason,' said Alfie, from the middle of the
crowd.
    'Do you want me to bash him?' said
Jamie.
    'No,' said Alfie. 'Just leave him. He isn't
worth it.'
    'You're right,' said Jenny. 'He isn't.'
    All I could see was their backs closed
against me. I was alone.
    OK, I thought. That's it.
    Time to do The Unthinkable .
    Or The Undoable .
    Or whatever it was.

Chapter Ten
THE UNTHINKABLE
(OR THE UNDOABLE)
    'You? What do you want?'
    That huge ugly head with the eyes, nose
and mouth all squished together in the
middle of his face peered out at me from
the flap at the front of the Dockery Gang
tent.
    I swallowed hard and said it.
    'I want to be in your gang.'
    Dockery, followed by Stanton, Furbank,
Larkin and Hughes, piled out of the
tent. It hadn't looked big enough to hold
them all, but somehow they'd all
squeezed in, and now they squeezed out.
    They formed a circle all around me.
    'Is this some kind of a joke?' said Dockery.
'Because if it is, it isn't funny.'
    'It's not