The Adventures of Caterwaul the Cat Read Online Free PDF

perform. If he could not display his talents for the Harsizzle elite, he would have to make do with what audience was available. These days, the audience for his presentations usually consisted of Warwick Vane Bezel III and a few of his henchmen. Oh well . . . what they may have lacked in discriminating palates was more than made up for by their complete absence of table manners.
    Then of course, there was the queen herself. Though her appetite for fanciful parties was gone, she still was able to offer Orris regular challenges. Unfortunately, more often than not, these were designed not to delight her subjects, but to cause them misery.
    The chef knew his talents were being wasted, but he dared not say anything out of fear that his predecessor’s fate might befall him as well. Orris remembered how Elias, the queen’s last personal chef, was confined to the castle’s dungeon for months because the queen found a hair in her shepherd’s pie.
    Even thinking about it caused him to become uneasy. Orris, who was but an assistant at the time, recalled Elias arguing with the queen over whose hair it was that was in the pie. The argument was pointless because no matter which of them was right, the cook was doomed either way.
    The former chef sealed his fate when he pointed out that the small piece of meat to which the hair was attached looked suspiciously like a mole that had, until only moments before, been twitching on the queen’s upper lip.
    Orris would not make that or any other mistake, so he kept his mouth shut and his kitchen spotless. Since he didn’t have much to prepare, he spent his time scrubbing, polishing, and sanitizing most of the day. He was in the midst of this cleaning when he received the queen’s summons. Druciah was grinning ear to ear when her chef approached.
    â€œYou wanted to see me, my queen?”
    â€œYes, Orris,” she said, “I have a special challenge for you. One I think will enable you to exercise your culinary muscles and test your creativity.”
    â€œAre we going to have a Grand Ball this year, your highness?” asked Orris excitedly.
    â€œNo, you fool. Those days are long past, I’m afraid, but I said I had a challenge for you, and I think this is one you will appreciate. I need you to assemble every recipe you have containing eggs. We are catering a wedding in three days.”
    She was absolutely giddy as she gave Orris his instructions.
    â€œWe shall spare no expense. I want you to really stretch out creatively here. You are going to make the most elaborate and decorative dishes you can come up with. I don’t care what you create, my friend, just make sure that whatever you cook contains eggs.
    â€œI even want the side dishes and desserts to have eggs in them. Get started now and have them ready by the morning of the third day. Then when you’re done, have the whole lot delivered to Count Freeholder for his wedding reception.”

    Two days later, Secret Police Commander Warwick Vane Bezel III returned to the castle. He had followed the queen’s orders to the letter. “The caterers have been paid off, and your seamstress has completed the dress you asked for. And if you don’t mind my saying so, I believe that she really outdid herself this time. I am afraid, however, that I made the dress quite a mess, your majesty.” He handed her what appeared to be an orange circus tent adorned with bright circles of purple and green. “I was going to surprise you by having my horse wear it for the journey home, but he refused to allow me to get on his back. It was quite embarrassing to the steed.”
    â€œExcellent work, Warwick! I knew I could count on you!” She unfolded the dress, which was designed to make the wearer look like an oversized, human Easter egg. She burst out laughing. “Yes, Warwick, this is perfect . . . In this outfit our bride-to-be will look like a cross between a clown and Humpty Dumpty.