Your Highness! I have reached the end of my tether! From here on out, your town chronicler adamantly refuses to meet with this despicable creature. You may kill me, my lord, but
I shall not go back to him
!
WALKING MAN:
I heard the voice
of a woman
coming from the town:
That every man is
an island
,
that you c-c-cannot
know
another
from within—
I persist in trying: I resuscitate,
awaken, endlessly clone
cells of yours that still
live in me, the final imprints
of being that have not yet
faded from the tips of my sensations—
the touch of your child-skin,
your voice still thin
and secretive, yet lashing out already
with a sharp salvo of irony, an impression
of your torso moving,
passing quickly,
sliding (how happy I was
when they said
you walked like me).
The corner of your mouth
tugs with a fragile flash
of doubt—
I continue, I preserve,
I treasure
and revive the child
you were, the man
you will not be.
You may laugh: What is this, Dad,
one-human-subject research?
I shrug my shoulders: No, it is a
life’s
work.
Look, I suddenly exclaim,
I will create you,
or at least
one life-twitch
of you, and why not,
damn it, why
give up?
I’ve done it once before,
and now I want
you
so
much
more.
WOMAN WHO STAYED AT HOME:
I drew
all the blinds. I dimmed
all the lights. My skin grew covered
with wounds and blisters. Dark
silence, dark
silence, days
and nights I was
inside it, an overdue
embryo, ossified,
conceived by the tragedy
in its senescence.
Until I emerged
from my torpor, and a voice
was conjured up from deep
inside me: I am
losing
my son
once again.
TOWN CHRONICLER: Under a streetlamp that glows with a yellowish light stands an elderly man writing in chalk on the wall of a house. A white halo of hair hovers around his head, his walrus mustache is silver, and my soul alights when I realize it is my teacher, my math teacher from elementary school, a likable man who suffereda tragedy years ago, I cannot recall what, and disappeared. I thought he was dead, yet here he is, in the middle of the night, standing by a wall befouled with lurid pictures, writing columns of numbers and exercises in tiny, neat handwriting. When he notices me he does not seem alarmed at all: on the contrary, he gives me a toothless grin, as though he has been expecting me for a long time, and gestures with his crooked finger for me to approach the wall.
ELDERLY MATH TEACHER:
Two plus two
equals four.
Repeat after me:
three plus three equals
six. Ten plus ten—twenty.
You’re late again, my boy;
tomorrow you’ll have to bring
your parents.
TOWN CHRONICLER: But sir, don’t you remember me?
ELDERLY MATH TEACHER:
Excuse me, sir, excuse me.
The darkness, and my eyesight …
You are the town chronicler,
of course.
So: with regard to the question
that was posed, or about
to be posed,
I have so little to say,
and I myself
must wonder: after all,
for twenty-six years
this has been
the singular
greatest fact
of my life.
Yet surprisingly,
and embarrassingly,
I know nothing
about it.
“But what is it like?”
people ask,
and I, too, not infrequently,
ask myself:
Like a block of concrete?
An iron ingot?
An impassable dam?
Like basalt rock?
Or rather—like the layers
of an onion?
But no, I must apologize,
for it is none of those.
And do not think, sir,
that I am evading
the question:
I truly know nothing about it.
Just that it is here.
A fact. And heavily
it slumps
on all my days. And
sucks my life out.
And that is all.
Please forgive me,
more than that
I truly
do
not
know.
TOWN CHRONICLER: He turned his back on me and resumed writing numbers on the wall in his miniature handwriting. I stood watching him for several more minutes, drawing strange comfort from the ease and swiftness of his motions. Then suddenly I remembered what it was that had befallen him, amazed that I could have forgotten. I almost went up to him and said: Sir, such
Eugene Burdick, Harvey Wheeler