The Act of Marriage: The Beauty of Sexual Love Read Online Free PDF

husband finds great delight in knowing his wife enjoys his lovemaking. The benefits of such love not only intensify the solidarity of the lovers, but also spill over and bless the children. A secure man becomes a better father, uses better judgment, and has an improved capacity to love the entire family.
    3. It enhances his love for his wife. We are familiar with the word syndrome, but we usually associate it with negative things like illness, depression, anger, or fear. However, it is appropriately used in conjunction with love. A love syndrome never hurt anyone, and such a syndrome is created between married partners when their lovemaking is mutually satisfying.
    Because a man has been endowed by God with an intense sex drive and a conscience, the satisfactory release of that drive without provoking his conscience will enhance his love for the person who makes that possible. But only one person on earth can do that—his wife.
    Follow our reasoning. A man’s sex drive can be relieved only by ejaculation. This can be achieved by (1) intercourse, (2) masturbation, (3) nocturnal emission, or (4) homosexuality. Intercourse is beyond comparison the most satisfying means of ejaculation, but this in turn can be accomplished by the act of marriage, by prostitution, or by adultery. Only one of these, however, is accompanied by a clear conscience—married love. Our chapter of questions and answers (chapter 15) will deal with illegitimate sexual experiences, but here it must be pointed out that they all have one factor in common: although they provide biological release, they do not guarantee lasting enjoyment, because the conscience God has given to every man “accuses” him when he violates divine standards of morality (read Rom. 1; 2:14–15). When sex provides only gratification and is followed by guilt, it makes a mockery of what God intended to be a very satisfying experience. By contrast, the act of marriage when properly performed is followed by physical relaxation based on innocence. Because sex is such a necessary part of a man’s life and married love preserves the innocence of his conscience, the woman who provides these for him will increasingly become the object of his love. Bobbie was a typical southern belle who came for counseling because she felt Joe didn’t love her any more. Although she couldn’t prove it, she charged, “I’m sure he’s seeing another woman.” It seemed incredible that any man would look elsewhere when he had such a beautiful wife with so charming an accent. But under questioning, it turned out that she had been using sex as a reward, rationing it out only on Joe’s good behavior. Like any normal man, Joe found that intolerable. We may never know whether he was actually unfaithful, for after some straightforward talk in the counseling room, Bobbie went home to love her husband unconditionally. At first he was stunned to find his wife sexually aggressive, but in typically masculine fashion he made the necessary adjustment. He found legitimate, enjoyable lovemaking with his wife so satisfying that he was no longer tempted to look elsewhere.
    One satisfied husband summed it up rather graphically when asked if he had ever been tempted to try extramarital experiences: “When you have a Cadillac in the garage, how can you be tempted to steal a Volkswagen off the street?”
    Female attitudes have been changing for the good in this area in recent years. Formerly it was common for many wives to look upon the sex act as a “necessary part of marriage” or a “wifely duty to perform.” Now an increasing number of women view it as a God-given means of enriching their relationships for a lifetime.
    4. It reduces friction in the home. Another result of a satisfying relationship between a couple is that it tends to reduce minor irritations in the home. A sexually satisfied man is usually a contented man. This will not solve major problems—it will not repair a bent fender or compensate for