briefly studied before wadding it up. In another man this gesture might have suggested he was through with her, that hed seen and understood both the muddled writing on the page and the clearer writing on the wall. Unfortunately, all Griffins father had seen was a more sensible approach to the research and writing of his fiancées dissertation, so he took out a legal pad and started sketching out how things would proceed if the project were his and not Claudias. That way, he reasoned, when she returned in a week or two (he still hadnt drawn the necessary inference from the empty clothes closet), shed find that instead of having fallen behind, she was actually ahead. The once murky, bloated purpose statement was now a detailed, workable template, thoughtfully divided into manageable segments and subdivided into bite-sized pieces that required only mastication, a series of cuds that even the bovine Claudia could chew. Granted, this was something she shouldve been able to do for herself, but so what? It could be their secret. Shed be so grateful her frozen pussy would thaw.
This, according to Griffins mother, was how the whole nightmare had begun, as an intellectual exercise in avoidance. That first night, when hed come home, found her gone and substituted his own outline for hers, hed have been mortified if anyone had suggested he might actually write any part of his fiancées dissertation. But a week went by and she hadnt returned, and then another, and the materials still sat there on the table (though hed moved them to one side to make room for his take-out meals), and he just hated for her to fall further and further behind. Of course Claudia, again according to Griffins mother, had predicted all of this. She might be dumb as a plastic Jesus, but she was shrewd. After all, how smart did a woman have to be to get the best of a man so ruled by his pecker? Anyone with an ounce of self-respect would have tossed her dissertation stuff right into the fireplace, or at least shoved it into a dark closet. Instead Griffins father had allowed it to sit there accusinglyyes, accusing him , not heruntil one day, over mu shu pork eaten directly from the carton, a thought occurred to him, as of course it would: Maybe just a short intro. Wheres the harm?
Because hed been complicit, if only subconsciously, from the start. Hadnt he made sure that the subject of Claudias dissertation was one that also greatly interested him? Hadnt he known all along that hed have to hold her hand through every last page? How different was actually writing the thing? Wasnt it really just a question of efficiency? Dont tell me I dont know how your fathers mind works, how he rationalizes, his mother warned when Griffin objected. She understood all too well. Once hed started down that slippery slope, he was a lost man. Writing the intro, he reconnected to the source material, making long, excited notes on cards for the body of the essay, its principal thrust and supporting arguments, until sometime during the holidays he slipped a fresh piece of paper into his IBM Selectric and typed: Chapter One .
Then an interesting thing happened. Whereas before hed been anxiously awaiting Claudias return, he now hoped shed stay away. Hed always believed this would bewhat?a collaboration, in the best sense. Shed do the actual writing, of course, but hed be right there to share notes and ideas, to make sure she didnt lose her focus. And wasnt that what all dissertations really were, collaborations? Otherwise, why have an adviser? But now he thought, Fuck it . He was making good progress, staying up late at night, neglecting, truth be told, his own teaching responsibilities. Hed hit his scholarly stride, and Claudias return would break it. Maybe hed surprise her in Atlanta during spring break, he told himself. But when the break came he decided to work through it (just as well, Griffins