Tantric Sex for Men: Making Love a Meditation Read Online Free PDF Page B

satisfaction and completion. Instead, most men, as already mentioned, feel depleted and devoid of creativity. Because the peak climax is not profound or deeply touching, the desire for sex continues almost as a compulsion or an obsession, and a man can find himself fully controlled by his sexual urges.
    With the habit of building up and discharging energy the more subtle, delicate layer of sexual experience is bypassed. The life force is not given the opportunity to circulate within the body. Ejaculation interrupts the circle, and the higher potential of sex is lost. When a man learns to experience his higher orgasmic nature and finds deeper fulfillment through sex, there usually will be a corresponding decrease in his sexual obsession.
    CONTAINING THE LIFE FORCE
    For a man to shift gears and reach a higher octave in sex, he needs to prolong the sex act by cooling down and either avoiding ejaculation or postponing it until a moment of his choosing. The bodies of a man and a woman need to make love for an extended period of time for states of sexual ecstasy to arise. The human body is designed by nature to experience higher states, but this requires time, sensitivity, and awareness.
    If a man understands that premature ejaculation happens through overexcitement, he can make ejaculation a conscious choice, rather than an accident or a habit, as mentioned in the previous chapter. Tantra masters also inform us that ejaculation is always preceded by the thought of ejaculation, that the origin of ejaculation is actually in the mind. Without the thought of ejaculation there is rarely an ejaculation (except when a woman gets overexcited and pulls an ejaculation from a man, as already mentioned).
    Avoid the Tension of Ejaculation Control
    Absence of ejaculation (nonejaculation) is not the same as ejaculation control. There is a significant difference between not ejaculating as a result of relaxation and controlling the ejaculation.
    Osho says, “In sex, you are relaxing in it, not controlling it. If you are controlling it, there will be no relaxation. If you are controlling it, sooner or later you will be hurried to finish it because control is a strain. And every strain creates tension, and tension creates a necessity, a need, to release. It is not control; you are not resisting something. You are simply not in a hurry because sex is not happening in order to move somewhere. You are not going somewhere. It is just a play; there is no goal. Nothing is to be reached, so why hurry?”
    This is different from sexual practices that suggest a man “dance on the verge” of ejaculation for a period of time without actually ever getting to the point of ejaculation. In other words, the man intentionally builds up the excitement and tension level, and then shortly before he feels he is about to reach the “point of no return,” he relaxes his efforts, which represses the ejaculation. After a while the energy level is built up again, and then repressed again, and this process is continued with the effect that ejaculation is controlled for a prolonged period. (There are also specific techniques to repress ejaculation; for example, a man pushes finger pressure into his perineum/prostate area.) As the term controlling ejaculation indicates, by using such repressive techniques, the shift is from ejaculation to avoiding ejaculation—which means that the goal orientation remains the same.
    Physical Pain after Hot Sex
    Controlling ejaculation through repression as described above can have a short-term energizing effect on a man. However, the deliberate building up and pushing down of excitement will deposit tension in the prostate gland and genitals, which can later cause congestion. Because all repression is basically a type of tension, the practice of ejaculation control is not particularly healthy in the long term. When a man deliberately plays with excitement and controls his ejaculation, he should not be surprised if he experiences pain in