curtain parted a second time, Nick was sitting up trying to adjust his jeans. “You tell and I’ll beat you to a pulp,” he warned.
Daley’s gaze wandered everywhere but to his brother. “I won’t tell,” he promised.
“I bet you do it too. Come sit with me.”
Daley shook his head, clearly embarrassed. Nick gestured impatiently until Daley sat opposite him, studying his grubby fingernails.
“Don’t lie to me, Daley Ringer. Ain’t nobody your age who ain’t done it. It’s nothing dirty, you know. It’s natural.”
Daley refused to admit he too was no stranger to the joys of masturbation.
“What do you think about when you do it? You think about girls?” Nick asked.
Daley turned his head and watched the green limbs sway in the wind. He had not admitted a thing, but Nick clearly knew anyway.
“Sometimes,” Daley finally said.
“I don’t.”
Daley looked at his older brother in surprise.
“Nah, who cares about sticking it in girls? I think about doing it to a…a goat, sometimes.” Nick’s voice began to falter as he saw from Daley’s face that what he was confessing appalled his brother. A sense of shame engulfed him, and he felt dirty, ugly. “Don’t look at me that way, Daley! I was just joking around. God! Just to see what you’d say, that’s all. Who would want to do it with an animal anyway? I read about it in one of Dad’s books. One of those stupid nasty books. People can’t really do it with goats, I was lying,”
Daley got up slowly. He looked old beyond his years.
“Hey, let’s make a deal, huh?” Nick quickly stood up and tucked in his shirt. "This will be my place and you keep other kids away from it. Okay? You find a place and I'll guard it for you. Good idea, you think?"
"Sure, Nick. That’s a good idea." Daley looked listless and vacant. The two boys ducked beneath the willow curtain and into the June sunshine.
Later that evening a depression had fallen over Nick like dense fog. His confession to his brother could not be erased. It nagged at him and his mood darkened. Self-pity plunged him into despair and he hated everyone. Daley tried to cheer him up by offering to spend his savings of fifty-two cents downtown, to play baseball, to go scouting for treasure in the town dump. Nick kicked the dusty ground with his feet and shook his head at all the suggestions. Finally Daley gave up and went indoors to read comic books.
Nick disappeared for an hour. When he returned home, the depression had lifted. He smiled at his brother sprawled on the floor and sat down beside him to look over the comics.
Daley was acting funny, jerking his head toward the kitchen. Nick tried to read the silent message. "What is it?" he asked. Daley did not have time to answer.
Their mother burst into the room, her face livid and bruised-looking from crying. Suddenly Nick understood his brother’s anxiety.
"Mrs. Gardner called. I'm going to send you off, Nicholas Ringer. Do you hear me? You keep pushing me and by God, I'll send you away from here!” she screamed.
Nick got to his feet, a sullen look creeping into his eyes. So that was it. He had been caught.
"I don’t care what you do," he said defiantly. He was fourteen and taller than his gray-haired mother. She was no threat.
Daley was standing too. “Ma, please.”
"You shut up. What help are you anyway?” Mary Ringer demanded.
"He didn't mean it, Ma."
"Always taking up for your no good brother. You're supposed to watch him. Your own father left us because of this...this...Nick! Are you listening to me?"
Nick met her stare.
"I should slap your smart-aleck face. Why do you do things like this? I can send you off to a home for juvenile delinquents, you know that, don't you?"
Nick held her stare. Daley touched his mother’s arm, trying to divert her attention.
"You get away from me," she shouted at the younger boy. "I told you to watch him. Now he goes off and gets caught strangling Mrs. Gardner’s dog! You think she's going
Yvette Hines, Monique Lamont