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hits on my girlfriend! Hang on a minute, he
sent you those flowers, didn’t he?’ Will’s face is very red. I nod. ‘You lied
to me.’
    It’s the first time I’ve ever
lied to Will. ‘I’m sorry.’ I hang my head.
    ‘ What
about the operation? This isn’t a good time for you to be alone.’
    I look up sharply.
‘That’s a low blow, Will.’
    He takes a step
towards me, then stops. ‘I know, I’m
sorry. I just can’t believe it’s over.’
    I soften. ‘It’s the right
decision, Will, you know it deep down.’
    He stares at me. ‘Perhaps you’re
right,’ he says eventually, ‘but we could have rubbed along together.’
    ‘I don’t want to just “rub”
along.’ I don’t know whether anything will ever happen with Leo, but staying
with Will just because it’s safe wouldn’t be right for either of us.
    Will nods, then grips me fiercely. I hug him back. We stay like that for ages. Eventually he
releases me and strides out of the room, leaving me in bits.

Chapter Nine

 
    ‘How did Will take it?’
    I wander over to the French
windows, which overlook the canal. ‘It was horrible. He was shocked at first.
Then he got angry. He was trying not to cry at the end.’ I feel so sad whenever
I think about it.
    ‘Poor Will, and poor you. Any
regrets?’ Kate’s forehead wrinkles and she fiddles with her long brunette hair.
    I take a seat beside her on her
small sofa. ‘Plenty.’ I sigh.
    My friend turns to me, an eager
expression on her face. ‘You could still get back together.’
    ‘I’m just…it’s so sad.’ I take a
sip of the red wine Kate produced when I first arrived.
    Kate shakes her head. ‘You’ve
been together for years. It’s a shame you’ve split up now. Surely you need Will more than ever.’
    ‘What are you getting at?’ I
don’t need this from her.
    ‘Well, the skin cancer; it’s not
a good time for you to be alone.’
    ‘For goodness
sake! Not you
as well. Can’t you be more positive?’ I know this isn’t the best time to break
up with my long-term partner, but I can’t wait until after the operation. I
can’t use Will. I can’t live a lie.
    I jump up, almost spilling my
wine in the process, and pace the small living area. If Kate persists in being
so negative I’m really going to lose my temper. I take a deep breath and put
the TV on. Coronation Street’s just
starting - excellent. I turn back to my friend. ‘I’ll be fine,’ I say firmly.
‘After all, I’ve got you, haven’t I? And my parents.’ It would be nice to have Leo by my side too, but there’s no chance of that.
    Kate nods, but I can see the
uncertainty in her eyes. She doesn’t say anything though; wisely she bites her
lip instead.
    ‘Shall I dish up?’ I ask
brightly. Without waiting for an answer I go to rescue our meal. The lasagne is
a bit burnt around the edges, but that’s okay; I like the crusty bits. I smile
to myself. I came to the wrong place if I wanted cheering up, but Kate’s place
is just a temporary bolthole until I decide what I’m going to do next.
    ***
    I go to work even earlier than
usual, beating Marie, who always starts work at 7.30am. By the time she’s
arrived I’m absorbed in putting together a classic funeral posy consisting of
one large-headed white rose surrounded by lemon Asiatic lilies, alstroemeria
and spray chrysanthemums. I look up. Marie’s eyebrows are raised. ‘What?’
    ‘You’re an early bird.’
    As if my normal 8am start is
late! I shrug. ‘I couldn’t sleep.’ Not surprising is it? For starters, it’s
strange being at Kate’s. Sleeping on a sofa bed is nowhere near as comfortable
as the king-size bed I previously shared with Will. And I can’t help but worry
about Will, and the operation, on the subject of which . . . ‘Marie, I need to
take some time off soon, a week, maybe two.’
    ‘Well, you’ve hardly taken any
leave so far this year, so fine. Are you going away?’
    I
wish. ‘No,
I’m…having an operation.’ Marie had to