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for her to deal with.
    What he said stayed with me. There was no way out of this. I couldn’t go running to my parents and have them make it better like when I cut my knee playing with Charlie when we were little, or when I got stuck on my maths homework. This was never, ever going to go away. Like the man on the market stall, I’d be stared at. I’d be wrong all my life. No going back. No making me right.
    Too soon we pulled into the drive. Mum had to park on the lawn because there were so many other cars there.
    ‘Why is he having it here?’ I muttered, wanting to know, but not wanting to speak to her either.
    She hesitated before she answered. ‘Last time they met at the village hall, but the cars were vandalised. Paintwork keyed and the tyres let down.’
    And I knew who’d have done that. We all knew.
    ‘They’ll be in the kitchen,’ Mum said. ‘Go in through the front door and straight upstairs if you don’t want to see them. I’ll bring you a hot chocolate.’
    Charlie was doing trumpet practice in his room so I lay on my bed with my iPod turned up high to drown him out. Sometimes now I scared myself. Sometimes I couldn’t hold it in and go back to being Mum and Dad’s normal Jenna, even in the safety of my home. I wasn’t sure if any of that girl was still left. Perhaps the thing inside me had eaten her all away. Maybe I only acted at being her now.
    Before the accident, I used to daydream about meeting a boy who didn’t want Lindsay or a Lindsay wannabe. He only wanted me. That was crazy thinking because Lindz was catnip for boys. She could get anyone she wanted. I’d watch her go into action, torn between admiration and jealousy, knowing I could never be like that. When she wanted the rich and unattainable Steven Carlisle, she’d even hooked him. But this dream boy would only be interested in me. We’d do regular things like go to the cinema, bowling with friends, hold hands, kiss eventually. Things I was ready for. Things Mum and Dad would be happy with. Things Lindz would laugh at as babyish.
    And sometimes, after the accident, I used to dream it could still be possible. That someone would see past the scars and not care about them. Hopeless dreams. Stupid little girl dreams.
    Dad sat on my bed and I jumped. With my headphones on I hadn’t heard him come in.
    ‘We’re having coffee and cakes. Come down and say hello.’
    I turned the iPod off. ‘Why? So you can exhibit your freak to the crowd?’
    His eyes registered his hurt and disappointment. ‘Where did that come from? Have some manners. Those people down there care about you. You’ve known most of them since you were a little girl. They’re doing this for you.’
    ‘If they care then they should leave me alone, like I want.’ I reached to turn my iPod on again, but he snatched it away.
    ‘Don’t be so selfish and rude. I want you down there in five minutes.’
    So five minutes later, I went down to play the part of Daddy’s good, tragic little daughter. I smiled at the people while they smiled at my left ear. Mrs Crombie from the village shop cut me an enormous piece of chocolate cake and pressed me to eat it. Charlotte’s dad asked me heartily how school was going, which was brave of him, I guess, considering. Mrs Atkins from Belle Vue Cottage told me about her new kittens.
    ‘Does it make you sick to look at me?’ I wanted to ask. But Mum and Dad would never have forgiven me if I did, so I put the old Jenna on for them until I could escape back to my room.
    Later, when they’d all left and the coast was clear, I crept down to the kitchen for a glass of milk. Mum and Dad were in the sitting room whispering to each other. I paused at the half-closed door to listen.
    ‘I’m worried, Tanya. She hardly comes out of her room. She won’t talk to people unless we make her. She never sees her friends. You said it would be different once she took the mask off.’
    ‘It’s only been a few weeks. She needs time to readjust.