Short Fiction of Flann O'Brien (Irish Literature) Read Online Free PDF Page A

somewhat formulaic. The fact is that is ye now have to prove that ye have Anglo-Saxon somewhere right now, or become a people without a kingdom.”
    T HE H UNT
    “I understand 9 all you have said,” replied Seán Mac Cumhaill, the Gaelic supreme leader.
    It was then that Seán asked of the multitude around and beside him who among them would undertake the great expedition and thoroughly search Ireland, without rest or respite, until Gaelic masters were found who were skilled in the English dialect. Two fleet-footed, valorous, manly men, Peadar Shamuseen Pat’s Mary and Black Mickey Donnell, emerged from the horde of Gaels hiding in the deep woods, and went to the side of Seán Mac Cumhaill, supreme leader of the Gaels, and before long they departed as fast as they could on the wide plains road through Ireland. John Bull made a coarse, cackling laugh, and sat down on a stone.
    T HERE ’ S F OUR OF T HEM!
    It was not long after the departure of Peadar and Mickey, the two bold heroes, that they returned to the presence of Seán Mac Cumhaill and John Bull, and four elderly men in their company, coming along feebly, slowly and reluctantly. Seán Mac Cumhaill blessed them gracefully with sweet gentle words, and gave them leave to commence lecturing and orating and speechifying. John Bull gave a coarse sniggering laugh, and said:
    “If you have English, speak it!”
    It was then that Mickey and Peadar explained that the elderly men were from Belfast, Dublin, Cork, and Limerick, and that varying degrees of the dialect of the Saxons yet remained on their tongues.
    “This is the well-read learned gentleman from Belfast,” he said, “and his name is in the mouths of seers and storytellers, and the readers of poems and books and useful descriptions, all over the world. Recite your bit, Eoghan. Recite to us the English you have!”
    The wise, civil old man opened his mouth and said:
    T HE S PEECH OF THE M EN
    “ Not an inch. Used as a pawn in the game. Up the Twalfth. To aitch with the Pee .” That was as much as he had. Joy and wonderment came over John Bull. Then, the elderly gent from Dublin spoke all that he knew.
    “ Alf. Where were you in sixteen? O Yeah! Sez me! Branch-a Mapaíochta & Survey-reachta .” Then it was the Corkman’s turn to speak; he had naught but a strange scrap that he did not understand himself:
    “ Dep. Cork 9.25. Arr. Dublin 12.35 .
    Dep. Cork 1.30. Arr. Dublin 4.16 .
    No Return Tickets issued .”
    It was then that the learned expert from Limerick spoke, and he had only one English sentence:
    “ Sprechen Sie Deutsch .”
    John Bull, when heard this melodious talk, was seized by a surge of joy: he sent for his servant, and put the same sweet talk on musicplates with help from Conradh an Bhéarla: 10 and John Bull put his hand on the hand of Seán Mac Cumhaill, and they feasted and celebrated for a month and a day, and then John Bull returned to his own kingdom. Everything hitherto was the tale of Seán Mac Cumhaill.
----
    1 Translator’s Note: This is the first indication that Ó Nualláin is deliberately using poor Irish in this text: the phrase used for “record” in this case is “plátaí ceoil,” which literally means “music plates.”
    2 The phrase used throughout the text is “Gnáth-Gaedheal.” “Gnáth” means “common” or “usual,” but it could also be used to mean “habitual,” perhaps implying that the “Gnáth-Gaedheal” could be “Gaels by Custom or Habit,” i.e. citizens of non-Gaelic heritage.
    3 In the original text, the adjective used to describe the seas is “mí-chéillidhe,” which I have translated here as “surly” but whose meaning is closer to “insane, stupid or insensible.”
    4 Here, Ó Nualláin uses “troigh” to denote “foot,” when it actually means a foot in length .
    5 “Coilleadh,” meaning “castration,” is used instead of the homophone “coille,” meaning “woods” or “forest.”
    6 The indicated word is “aithis,”