Shocked and Shattered Read Online Free PDF Page B

keep this secret any longer.
     
    “It will have to wait, Princess. We tee off in thirty minutes,” he replies, kissing my forehead. Usually I would just smile and nod, but not today.
     
    “It can’t wait. I’ve been waiting weeks already!” I shout, feeling pissed off that he won’t give me five minutes of his fucking time.
     
    “Don’t raise your voice to me. What have I said before about that,” he replies condescendingly.
     
    “I’m sick, Sterling,” I announce before he can get another word in.
     
    “Yes, and I’m sorry you are still sick. You need to see another doctor and get some stronger meds.” He doesn’t even care.
     
    “I have seen a new doctor. He is a specialist, and they have done blood tests and X-rays,” I clarify. Part of me can’t believe he hasn’t noticed where I’ve been every day.
     
    “I have cancer, Sterling,” I exclaim, watching his every move. His body doesn’t slouch the way mine did when I found out. He only frowns.
     
    “How could you have cancer?” he asks stupidly. Like I fucking know, genius.
     
    Yep. The old Crystal has left the building.
     
    “My great grandmother had breast cancer, and that is the type that I have too,” I advise him, disregarding his question.
     
    “You have breast cancer?” He looks more serious this time. I nod my head.
     
    “Oh God,” he shudders. “Could I catch that from being intimate with you?” I grit my teeth.
    If I had a gun, I think I would shoot him.
     
    “You cannot catch cancer!” I shriek, feeling pissed that he is being so selfish.
     
    “Oh, thank God for that.” He replies, sounding relieved.
     
    “Are you even sad for me? I have to undergo six rounds of chemotherapy, radiation, and multiple blood tests. I will lose my hair, be constantly sick and exhausted, and all you care about is that you can’t catch it?” I snap at just how unsympathetic he is being.
     
    “We will get you the best specialist in New York. I will have him ring you today, and maybe there is another way to beat it,” he suggests.
     
    “There is no other way,” I yell. I wish I didn’t even tell him.
     
    “We will have to buy you a wig. You can’t come to functions with no hair.” That’s the last thing he says to me before he picks up his golf clubs to leave.
     
    “Arrrgghhh! You asshole! Go fucking golf,” I scream before running into my bedroom, slamming the door harder than I ever have before.
     
    I am seething. My heart rate is pounding, I feel sweat dripping off my brow as I crack my knuckles, and my face is flushed.
     
    I hear the front door slam as Sterling leaves, and I scream again “Arrrrrggghhhh,” so loud from the rage inside of me.
     
     

CHAPTER 8 – Worst Pain Ever
     
    “Are you okay Crystal?” Dr. Grayson asks me as he does the rounds to patients in the cancer clinic.
    It’s my first round of chemo. The needle is stinging, my stomach is nauseas, and I hate the world.
     
    “Just perfect,” I reply sarcastically.
    I have a sizeable needle sticking out of my vein, pumping poison into my blood stream to try and kill the other poison in my blood. I’m in a room with ten other people undergoing the same treatment as me, showing me what I will look like soon. The nausea is getting worse, and this is only the beginning, so I’m perfect. Just fucking perfect.
     
    He squeezes my hand, catching me by surprise. I shouldn’t be a bitch to him; he has been nothing but helpful and sweet. What is that saying about not shooting the messenger? I welcome the contact and look up and smile at him. He smiles back warmly. I get a suspicious look from Hannah when he walks away.
     
    “What? He is my doctor,” I whisper. God only knows what she is thinking. Hannah goes back to reading her Christina Lauren book, which is probably totally inappropriate to read in public, but that is just Hannah.
     
    I pop in my earbuds, choosing my new playlist with some nice relaxing music, like ‘Enya,’ and some other