Shocked and Shattered Read Online Free PDF

the body,” she adds. Thank God it hasn’t spread. “I have written you a referral for an appointment with an oncologist, Dr. Liam Grayson. He is very experienced and will discuss surgery to remove the cancer, and look at one or more of the underarm lymph nodes. Of course, chemo and radiation will be necessary.” She finishes off her sentence with those two dreaded words, chemo and radiation .
    My beautiful blonde hair, which has taken me twenty-four years to get shiny and healthy, will all fall out. That part is going to kill me. It’s who I am. Even as a young girl, I’ve never had short hair.
    I start to sob. The tears fall uncontrollably. It is so much information to take in.
    My life is going to change forever, and nothing will ever be the same again.
    Hannah embraces me tightly. “Shhh, Crys, Shhh,” she whispers as we hold each other for the next few minutes.
     
     
    I leave the doctor’s office with mountains of paperwork. Some are referrals, some are about tests that I will be having, and reading material about what I should expect. Hannah drops me at home, where I decide to shower and put on my PJ’s.
    “I’m just getting supplies, and I’ll be back in twenty minutes. Any special requests?” she asks me in her caring, subtle tone.
    “Ice cream,” I sigh. Even though I’m still unwell, ice cream makes everything better. Well, it has in the past. I’m not entirely sure about today though.
    I’m dressed in my favourite grey and pink heart patterned pyjamas and on the lounge with a throw when Hannah enters the front door. She took my keys so I didn’t have to get up again. Sterling is at a work dinner and won’t be home until after eleven.
    “Okay. So, I have vanilla and chocolate ice cream, chocolate topping, Hershey’s, and three romantic comedies. Tonight is all about hanging with my bestie and forgetting the world for a while.” Sounds perfect to me. I can’t deal with being an adult any more today.

CHAPTER 5 – My World Is Crumbling
    I’ve had to cancel my modelling shoots due to feeling sick all the time, and of course because I now have specialist appointments, and possible surgery.
    The modelling agency that I work for, Exquisite Edge, are getting pissed with me. I need to get a doctor’s certificate, but I don’t want everyone knowing or feeling sorry for me. I am not that attention seeking girl.
    Maybe I’ll be one of the lucky ones who won’t lose her hair during chemo, and the diagnosis will be much better than first expected. Positive thinking all the way.
    I dial Dr. Stewart’s number and her receptionist answers. “Hello. I’m hoping to speak with Dr. Stewart. My name is Crystal Edgeworth.”
    “One moment please” she tells me as I hear the phone transfer.
    “Hello, Crystal. This is Dr. Stewart…is everything okay?” she asks, sounding concerned.
    “Yes, I’m okay. I am having trouble with my employer, and was hoping to get a doctor’s note, if it’s not too much trouble.”
    “Sure, I can write you a doctor’s note for the next few months. Also, I have started a health care plan for you,” she tells me, and explains what that means.
    “Do you really think I will need a few months off? They will rip up my contract,” I plead and protest. Surely it’s a mistake.
    “I’m really sorry, Crystal, but you will be a very sick woman soon. Once you commence chemo, you will not be able to work, let alone complete day to day activities. Under the ‘Family Medical Leave Act’, your employer must give you up to twelve weeks leave if you are requiring medical treatment,” Dr. Stewart informs me.
     
    It makes my heart sink. I finally have a job that I love, and now I have no choice but to walk away from it. My dream came true, and now it’s been whisked out from under me.
     
     

CHAPTER 7 – True Colours
     
    “Sterling, I have something extremely important to talk to you about.” It’s Saturday morning, and I watch as he gathers his golf clubs. I can’t