Sex and Crime: Oliver's Strange Journey Read Online Free PDF Page B

asshole if I would let a disability
change my feelings for her. That's not the kind of person I want to
be. And I'm not. So I was going to stick by her, wheelchair and
all.
     
    But what if she had cancer? Do I really want
to get attached to someone who has a terminal illness and who may
die soon? I thought about that saying, "it's better to have loved
and lost than never to have loved at all." That made a lot of sense
to me. None of us really know how long we have left to live. You
may be perfectly healthy, and then get hit by a bus tomorrow.
     
    It doesn't make any sense to say no to love,
just because it may end in a few months. Every day with that
special someone in your life is a gift. If it ends up lasting a
lifetime, that's perfect. But even if it only lasts a few months or
years, nobody can ever take those days away from you afterwards.
They will forever be a part of you and your story. So I decided
that even if Donna has cancer and she's going to die soon, I won't
let that stop me from loving her and spending as much time as
possible with her now, for as long as possible.
     
    But what if she used to be a prostitute? No
matter how liberal I may be about most things, when it comes to
love and sex, I am pretty traditional. I'm not into free love. I'm
not into fucking around with just anybody.
     
    Love is really just a word we use to
describe a deep bond between two people. And the thought that the
girl I love has sex with someone else is unbearable to me. I think
of sex as the most intimate thing two people in love can share.
It's the ultimate bonding experience. I can't have sex a bunch of
times with a girl and not bond with her or care about her. And I
can't handle the thought of the girl I love having sex with someone
else and sharing that kind of intimacy with another person besides
me.
     
    So if Donna had been a prostitute while she
and I were talking to each other on the phone every day, I wouldn't
have been able to handle it. I would have told her to stop doing
that or I wouldn't be able to talk to her any more, because it
would hurt me too much to get attached to her any further, while
she is having sex with other people.
     
    But if she had been a prostitute in the
past, before she and I met, I figured I would be able to deal with
that. I wouldn't be happy about it. It would bother me a lot that
every guy in town had his dick inside the girl I love. Disgusting!
But as long as it's in the past, and she's loyal to me now, and we
have a strong bond that nobody else can break, then I would be able
to forget about it and focus on a future with her instead of
worrying about her past.
     
    While growing up in Germany, I read a book,
called Zoo Station, about a teenage prostitute. It was a true
story. Her name was Christiane F. She had grown up in a broken,
abusive home. She started doing heroin at 13 and ended up as a
teenage prostitute at 14, tricking on the streets of Berlin, near
the Zoo subway station.
     
    That book was a huge hit. It sold millions
of copies and was made into a movie that ended up being one of the
highest grossing films in German movie history. Christiane F made
so much money off her life story that she ended up being a
millionaire. Her book was required reading in most German
schools.
     
    Growing up, that book was the only thing I
had ever known about drugs or addicts, until I moved to the States
years later and met actual drug addicts in person. I think I was
14, when I read Christiane's book. And I felt really bad for her. I
could relate to her, because my childhood wasn't all roses either.
I was just lucky that there were no drugs around me while I was
growing up.
     
    My father was a violent alcoholic. What's
your very first childhood memory? Blowing out the candles on your
birthday cake? Playing with your favorite doll? Your toy truck?
Well, my very first memory is sitting in the backseat of the car.
My mother was behind the wheel, as usual, and my dad was sitting
next to her. He didn't