Self Destruct Read Online Free PDF Page B

tell me? Or no you don’t have a boyfriend?”  She sighed.  I could tell I was pissing her off, but that was actually a little fun too.  Everything with her has been fun. 
    “No, I don’t have a boyfriend.”  “So there isn’t anyone back in Ellensburg who would object to you being out here with me?”  Why was I trying to press this? I’m not available.  I should quit acting like a lovesick teenager chasing after this girl.  But I couldn't, I had to know.
    “Probably not,” she shrugged.  I narrowed my eyes at her.  What the hell did probably mean?  “Probably not, as in maybe there is?”  “There was someone, but I don’t think that is going to work out. So, like I said, probably not.”  “You don’t know for sure?” I deserved to be kicked in the nuts for acting like a possessive ass, but I really wanted to know.
    “No I don’t know for sure.  Look we aren’t serious either way.  We’ve hung out for the last few months, and went out to dinner the othe r night, but things ended weird.  I don’t think it's going anywhere,” she rambled.
    “Define weird,” I demanded.  If he hurt her I was going to hunt him down and bash his face in.  “I don’t know.  Everything was going great.  He suggested we play this game where we ask a bunch of personal questions and see who would back off first.  Then he asked where the craziest place I’d ever done it was…” she shrugged again, this time in defeat. 
    “I see. He couldn’t handle the fact that you’re a virgin.”  Its official I’m an ass. I wish I hadn't rubbed salt in that wound earlier today.  I turned her to face me.  “Listen, I think it's sweet.  I would rather date a virgin than a slut.”  I swallowed hard, because I was dating a slut. “If he cares about you he won’t let some weird hang-up distract him.” 
    “It’s fine really.  I would rather find out now.  I think it is more of a convenient excuse than anything.  Maybe he realized I wasn’t going to be his fuck-buddy and decided to bail.  All of which saves me from wasting time on him.”  Her face fell, like she expected this reaction. 
    “How did you leave things with him?”  I couldn't seem to stop my interrogation.  “He fed me some bullshit line about respecting me enough not to try and seduce me.  Then conveniently he had to leave town for a week to go to a wedding. He said he would call when he got back in town.”
    “After all of that he still said he would call you?”  Shit, maybe this guy was interested in her.  Yeah, I’ve told girls I would call when I had no intention of ever calling, but I didn't work to make them understand why I haven’t called for a week.  I sure as hell didn't give them a time to expect me to call. 
    “Toni said he was definitely not going to call. She ordered me to get my ass here and stop being pathetic.  It doesn't matter. She’s right he’s too old for me anyway.” 
    That got my attention.  What did she mean about being too old?  How old was she?  My guess, she was twenty or twenty-one.  “Too old for you?  How old is this guy?” I was being pushy again, but I felt like this girl would be easily taken advantage of.  “Uh, he’s twenty-eight.  Which makes him eight years older than me.  Why how old are you?”
    “I’m twenty-four.  I have to say I agree with Toni. He is pushing thirty.  He’s probably thinking about marriage and babies and shit.  You should be thinking about classes and parties.” 
    She shuddered as if what I said sunk in.  “Like I said we have only hung o ut for a few months, as friends. I have no idea what his thoughts are on marriage or babies." 
    She twisted a lock of her hair, a nervous gesture.  " I may have dodged a bullet there, because I am never going down that road.  And parties really?  I hate parties.  Too many drunk people dry humping in front of virtual strangers.”
    I tried not to laugh, but it was a wasted effort.  The memory