Secondhand Sinners Read Online Free PDF Page A

get lost.”
    “Then I’ll come find you.”
     
    Emily woke up just before seven A.M. She hadn’t dreamt about that September morning of her junior year in a long time. She and Daniel had skipped first period to sit behind the field house because he could tell something was wrong and insisted she tell him. So she told him. It was the first time her mom and grandmother called Sister Serenity, the first of three. When they tried to do it for the fourth time, she ran like Daniel told her to. The dream always made her sad because she did get lost, and there was no one to come find her.
    She crawled out of bed, careful not to wake Jack. During her shower, her thoughts kept veering to Miller. It really bothered her that he was being so helpful. She had expected him to hate her. If he did, he might be trying to lay the groundwork for some kind of revenge. What would it be? Humiliation? Shame? Guilt?
    After her shower, she took her anti-depressant and birth control pill, and since she forgot her flat iron, she put a little product in her hair and hoped for the best. Anything would have to be better than the scary image that looked back at her through the mirror last night. The crooked ponytail and splotchy face made her look pathetic. Ah, that must have been it. Miller pitied her. The thought sickened her. She’d prefer he yell at her than pity her.
    Once she was dressed, she pulled a bag of coffee out of the cabinet and got it started in Levi’s coffee maker. Then she checked the refrigerator for milk. All he had was soy.
    What the hell, Levi?
    A tapping at the door startled her.
    She stood very still and waited for whoever was behind the door to go away.
    “It’s me, Emily,” Miller said.
    She opened the door. Miller was in jeans, a black t-shirt, and work boots. She noticed at the police station that his hair was lighter than she remembered—sun-kissed blond instead of light brown. It looked darker against the backdrop of the dark sky, more like she remembered. He was holding two brown bags stuffed with groceries.
    “Miller? It’s early. Is everything okay?”
    “Your hair got wavy.”
    She looked down and brushed a wavy lock behind her ear. “It did that when I was pregnant, you know, with Jack. It’s still a little wet. I usually straighten it.” Why was she going on about her hair? “What are you doing here?”
    “I figured Levi wouldn’t have the kind of food your little boy would eat, so I ran out to the store for you.”
    She stared at him. Although she felt like crying, she had already decided she wasn’t going to let him see her cry again. That one tear in the police station was enough.
    “I figured I’d leave it on the porch and call you in an hour or so. The light was on so I thought I’d see if you were okay.”
    “Oh.”
    “Can I come in?”
    “Oh. Yeah. Sorry.”
    She moved aside, and he walked past her and into the kitchen.
    “The way I see it,” he said as he unloaded the groceries into Levi’s refrigerator, “if you have kids in the house, you have to have Cheerios and milk. I didn’t know about your guy so I got some bacon and eggs too. Is that fresh coffee? Want me to pour some?”
    Miller was standing there, being so helpful, offering to make her coffee. Why? “What are you doing?”
    He looked around the room in one quick sweep and then back at her. “I told you. Helping.”
    “I was going to go out this morning.”
    “I only picked up enough to get you started. I’m sure you have a long day ahead.”
    “Yeah. I guess.”
    He took two mugs out of the second cabinet he looked in and filled them with the fresh coffee. With his back to her, he asked, “You gonna go see your dad?”
    The thought of facing her mom and visiting her dad sickened her. Emily stared at the floor. “I’m not sure. I may stay here today, except for getting groceries. Jack needs to get some rest and settle in somewhere.”
    He held up a mug. “You want anything in yours?”
    “A little sugar…I