Second Sunday Read Online Free PDF Page A

Sunday morning,
     either Bert or Melvin Sr. had to go up in the balcony and separate those two at some point during the service. Poor Melvin
     Jr. would always look him in the eye and say, “Mr. Bert, she started it.” And when Bert looked at Bertha, all pretty in her
     pink organza dress, hair ribbons, fancy lace socks, and black patent leather shoes, he knew that it was true. Bertha would
     tell all on herself, saying something stupid like, “Daddy, I just can’t stand him.” Then, when she thought Bert wasn’t watching
     her, Bertha would stick out her tongue at Melvin Jr., who would make a fist and say, “We can finish this after church.” To
     this day, Bertha complained that Melvin Jr. got on her “last nerve.” As Bert looked at the empty space next to Phoebe, he
     made a mental note to ask Nettie if she knew what was up with that girl.
    All throughout the service, Nettie kept trying to find Sheba Cochran without drawing Bert’s attention to herself. She knew
     Sheba was in the sanctuary, but couldn’t locate the girl for the life of her. She was looking for Sheba so hard that when
     the sermon began, she could barely concentrate on what Rev. Blue Patterson was saying. She, Viola, Sylvia, and even Katie
     Mae had promised to pay close attention to the content of each applicant’s text. They agreed that they had to avoid getting
     carried away with the emotions raised by a sermon—by the man’s voice, how he moved when he preached, how well his robe fit
     him—to the point that they forgot to think about whether or not the sermon was anything worth hearing.
    When Nettie finally got her mind off finding Sheba long enough to listen to Rev. Blue Patterson’s preaching, she noticed that
     he was doing a lot of hollering and screaming. And when Nettie fine-tuned her ears to the actual words, she heard Rev. Patterson
     say, “Ummm, chutch. When God woke me up this morning and started me on my way, He said, ‘Blue, you tell these people that
     they are charged to obey you or else they’s got to deal with
Me.
’”
    Nettie couldn’t believe that Blue Patterson would stand there and let that garbage spew out of his mouth and all over the
     congregation. He was, as Nettie’s mother, MamaLouise, later described him, “determined to show his rusty behind to the whole
     church.” But to Nettie’s surprise, certain members of the congregation actually seemed to be caught up in the sermon, making
     her wonder what she must have missed. Cleavon Johnson, who seemed especially pleased, was wearing a self-satisfied smirk.
    Blue Patterson dabbed at his bald spot with a handkerchief. It glistened with beads of sweat, highlighting its presence in
     the middle of the half-moon natural that wrapped around the bottom of his head. Then he pulled the microphone off the podium,
     pacing back and forth for dramatic effect, and in a voice he must have believed mimicked the voice of God, bellowed, “Geth-se-ma-ne.
     Geth-se-ma-ne. Blue is my ser-vant. Obey my ser-vant or else.”
    Up in the balcony, Phoebe, Melvin Jr., Rosie, and Jackson Williams were torn up with laughter. Nobody tried to shush them.
     Viola leaned toward Nettie and whispered, “Girl, the people on the front row show do need to move, so they don’t get hit when
     that big bolt of lightning comes out of nowhere to strike him dead.”
    Nettie turned to Bert to ask what he thought about the sermon. But Bert was sound asleep, with his head back and his mouth
     open, snoring faintly. When the choir stood up and prepared to march out for the benediction, Nettie nudged him, whispering,
     “Thank you, Lord” when she had trouble waking him. She figured that if Bert was sleeping this hard, he would oppose doing
     anything for Rev. Blue Patterson, other than giving him a plate of food and enough gas money to drive back home.
    She poked at him again, and Bert woke up in the middle of a snore, saying, “Wha . . . wha . . . inning is it?”
    As soon as the