Scarred (Lost Series Book 2) Read Online Free PDF

helped. And maybe I thought I could pay him back by doing so. And then I thought that fixing him wouldn’t help me, and I hated myself for being so selfish.
    Ethan was a contradiction for me. The man who cried when he’d been sentenced versus the hitman who came out of prison. Softness and strength, weakness and power. All in one man.
    “It was the internet that got you in trouble in the first place, River, and most of it doesn’t tell you the half of it.”
    I closed my laptop and turned to look at Ethan. He was leaning against my doorjamb, watching me with an unblinking stare. His black t-shirt hugged his chest and hugged his upper arms. His dark jeans were low on his hips.
    “Anyone ever teach you to knock?”
    “My house. My rules.”
    A chill ran through me and I cleared my throat. His eyes narrowed a moment before he shouldered away from his perch. He stalked closer to me and I couldn’t move. I looked in his eyes and waited for him to come closer, close enough to touch. Holding my breath, I tried to calm my pounding hard as I clenched my hands in my lap.
    Touch me .
    “Stand up,” he commanded.
    I did as I was told, blindly, without thought. My chest pushed against him and I felt lightheaded. He gripped my hips, his scent, dark and thick, wafted to me as I took a deep breath, trying to get my bearings. I didn’t fight him as he pulled me to him, crushing my body to his.
    He was hard against my softness, rigid where I was languid. I couldn’t stop my moan.
    “I did not tell you to make a sound.”
    I bit my lip, cutting off the whimper. I wanted him to toss me down, to control me, to fuck me. I had lost my mind, I knew it, but I couldn’t stop the thoughts from flowing through my head. There was no way to stop my body from reacting. My nipples hardening, my stomach clenching. I wanted the monster to devour me.
    “Look at me.” He gripped my neck even as I did as he wanted. His firm hold tightened enough that my breathing changed. I felt the restriction of my airways, that familiar feeling of flying.
    Release. Sweet release of all that mattered. Of responsibility, worry, and stress. How long had it been since I felt this kind of peace?
    “I could give you what you wanted, and you still wouldn’t matter to me.”
    His words were ice in my veins. His hold now terrifying, his hard cock a violation waiting to happen as it nestled against my belly. Everything about what we were doing, what I had done, was wrong. With just one sentence, he took my peace and replaced it with hell.
    He pushed me away from him and I fell to the bed. By the time I sat back up, he was gone, but I don’t think I could have said a thing to him. He was a bastard and I hated him. I hated that he made me want things that were destructive. Hated that he could reduce me to nothing more than hormones and flesh while he stood apart, disgusted by what I offered.
    And I was terrified of the fact that I knew I would let him do it again, because even the bit of pain I was feeling right now didn’t remove the desire. I curled on the bed, too hurt to cry, too angry to pity myself. How did I want to kill a man when I was more interested in spreading my legs for the fucker who didn’t give a shit about me. I was the fucked up, worthless piece of shit that Derrick called me.
    And what was worse? I wasn’t going to be able to stop. But maybe, just maybe, killing Derrick would free me from the stamp he put on me. And men like him, like Ethan, would run away from me.
    I’d be the monster, and I wouldn’t have to crave that dark touch anymore because I’d have it at my fingertips.

 
     
     
     

    I was going to Hell, I knew it, but she needed me. Was it okay for a demon to want to have an angel?

5
    Ethan
     
     
     
     
    Three Months Later
     
    I loved the night. How fucking sick was that? I loved the very thing that seeped into my body and created the worst moments of my life. It was night when I stepped into the ring with Mikhail and ended