Rules of the Game Read Online Free PDF Page A

are that the volume of your voice in your head isn’t the volume at which other people hear you. So if you normally talk at a 5, from now on take it up to a 7. Don’t worry about speaking too loudly. It’s much more likely that your friends will start complimenting you on how clearly you’ve started communicating.
    PROBLEM: Fast Speech
    SOLUTION: Speaking too rapidly is one of the most common and crippling vocal mistakes. Not only does it make you difficult to understand, but it gives others the impression that you’re nervous, you’re not confident, and what you have to say is unimportant.
    A calm, slow voice commands authority.
    For this exercise, sit up straight in front of your audio recorder or computer microphone. Take a deep breath. Now say without slowing down the following sentence—all in one breath: “I will no longer speak too quickly and cram all my words together in one breath because I have lots of thoughts in my head and I am trying to get them all out and I am afraid that if I pause, people will stop listening.”
    Listen to the recording. Most likely, cramming a run-on sentence into one breath worsened your enunciation and caused you to swallow some words.
    Now inhale and say the same line. But this time, make the pace exaggeratedly slow and deliberate; leave excruciatingly long pauses between phrases; pronounce each word carefully; and take a breath more often than you feel you need to. Then listen to the recording.
    Repeat this exercise five to ten times, gradually increasing the pace, normalizing your breathing, and shortening the pauses between words while making sure you’re still speaking slowly and pronouncing each word fully. This is going to feel unnatural at first, but stick with it until you find a comfortable and clear speaking pace that captures the attention of others.
    Repeat the run-on sentence several more times in front of a mirror until you get used to your new speaking pace.
    After you’ve mastered this exercise on your own, your voice may well speed up again in social situations. So make sure you monitor yourself, and take a breath and slow down as soon as you catch yourself speed talking.
    Just like turning up the volume on your voice, it may take a while for your inner ear to get used to this change. You may think you’re boring others, but you’re not. Fast speakers often discover that, even when they’ve slowed down to what seems like an interminable crawl, they’re still talking faster than everyone else in the room.
    PROBLEM: Brain Farts
    SOLUTION: Brain farts, or pausers, are the enemy of confidence.
    Whether or not you know what a brain fart is, try this exercise before reading any further: Record yourself speaking with a friend. Either take an audio recorder with you when you leave the house, or record your end of the conversation next time you’re on the phone.
    Play back the recording and carefully transcribe the first few sentences. Make sure you write down every single word you say. Don’t leave out anything.
    Now take a look at what you’ve written. Do you notice the words um or uh anywhere? How about “you know,” “like,” or “whatever”? These are known as pausers, or brain farts.
    We’ve learned to use these meaningless utterances for several reasons: as placeholders, to make sure we don’t lose anyone’s attention while we’re thinkingof what to say next, and as a sonar system, to make sure the other person understands or agrees with what we’re saying.
    But do you know what message these pausers actually send to others? Insecurity.
    Pausing for a moment won’t cause you to lose someone’s attention. Always speak as if you’re making complete sense—even when you don’t think you are. The fact is, the way you communicate makes more of an impression than what you say.
    Now listen to ten minutes of the conversation you recorded. Write