Rules of Lying (Jane Dough Series) Read Online Free PDF Page B

being lied to.”
    Everyone knew how I felt about being lied to. I had ranted about it for weeks after learning the extent of Pete’s deceit. Fortunately, Rose had seemed to take it in stride, telling me it was fodder for writing. In my case that hadn’t proved true—so far.
    I decided to get straight to it. “I’ve got a plot for a new romance. And it’s got a great hero.”
    There was silence but for the sound of Rose blowing out her cigarette smoke.
    “A duke?”
    “Of course,” I said. “What’s a hero if not a duke? But this one is really special. He’s got a great character arc and a fantastic sense of humor.” I waited while Rose sucked in all the air between New York and Florida along with her nicotine fix.
    “Does he still have a penis at the end of the book?” she croaked out.
    I huffed. Mentally, of course. You make one little mistake in this business and they never let you forget it. Not that castrating the hero had been a mistake, at least not the way I’d written it.
    “I told you it proved their love transcended the physical.”
    “And I told you no one wants a hero without a penis, duke or not.”
    My hackles rose. I’d put a lot of thought into that hero. “Someone might have, if you’d sent the manuscript out to more than one editor.”
    “Jane, I didn’t need to send it to more than one editor. Thirty seconds after she finished reading it, the entire publishing world knew about it. They’re still laughing. You’re lucky everyone likes you, otherwise your name would be mud.”
    “Everyone likes me?” I was pleased enough that the offhand compliment soothed my hurt feelings. A little.
    “As a writer, not as a person. But no one’s gonna buy a hero without a penis, no matter what.”
    “Okay, I get it.” Honestly. How many times did I have to apologize?
    “Do you? Do you really? Because the next hero you wrote was impotent, and no one wants a hero who can’t get it up either.”
    “That’s not true,” I said, recalling the next book I’d submitted to her, which she subsequently shot down. “He wasn’t impotent with the heroine—just with everyone else. It was romantic.”
    “It was gross. Just write a regular hero. One with a penis that works the way it’s supposed to.”
    I mumbled something, I wasn’t sure what. I was wishing I hadn’t called.
    “Jane, this conversation tells me you’re still not ready to write romance. Go get laid.”
    “I don’t need to get laid.”
    Okay, maybe I did, but getting laid wouldn’t change my mind about men. Men were scum, but if I had to write them like they were Prince Charmings, I could. It was fiction, wasn’t it? And I was a professional.

Chapter 4
    M y rash was driving me out of my mind, and so I looked up herpes online. I couldn’t tell if what I had resembled what I saw, but those pictures were scary enough to make me want to find out. I did a search for gynecologists within thirty miles. Considering that healthcare was a huge industry in Florida, I was surprised there weren’t that many to choose from.
    I struck out with the first five doctors I called, mainly because I refused to tell the receptionists about my problem. I was thinking I shouldn’t have to tell anyone but the doctor if I had a blistery rash that looked exactly like herpes. They were evidently thinking there was no way I was getting in to see the doctor unless I did. I had one phone number left on the list when I decided I’d better come clean.
    The receptionist got the words good morning out of her mouth, and my mouth took off.
    “I need to see the doctor,” I said, words tumbling out in a rush. “It’s an emergency. I’ve got this rash on my … you know, or maybe it’s blisters, I’m not sure. My friend Sue says it’s herpes, but how would I know? I mean, I’ve never had herpes, but it feels just like what they say it’s supposed to feel like, and I’m totally freaked. I wouldn’t ordinarily think I had herpes, but I had one-time sex