Rodrick Rules Read Online Free PDF Page B

THIS.
    So I made Mom go out on the front porch before I said a word to Mrs. Gillman.
    [Image: A cartoon of a lady waiting outside the door and a boy talking on the
    phone.] "My mother is not inside the house right now."
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    And from the look Mom gave me when she came back in the house, I kind of get
    the feeling she's not gonna hold me to that honesty pledge anymore.
    Monday
    Today was Career Day at school. They have Career Day every year to get us kids
    to start thinking about our future.
    They brought in a bunch of adults who had all these different jobs. I think the idea
    is that us kids will find out about a job we like, and then we'll know what we want
    to be when we grow up.
    But what REALLY happens is that you just find out which jobs to rule out.

    [Image: A cartoon of a man teaching the children.] "And that's why I love being an
    electrical engineer!
    Electrical Engineer Formulate Concept of Operations Write Plans and Procedures
    Integrate Plan and Procedure"
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    After the presentations, we had to fill out these questionnaires. The first question
    was, "Where do you see yourself in fifteen years?"
    I know EXACTLY where I'll be in fifteen years: in my pool, at my mansion,
    counting my money. But there weren't any check boxes for THAT option.
    [Image: A cartoon of four children enjoying in and near a pool.]
    The questionnaires are supposed to predict what kind of job you're going to have
    when you grow up. When I was finished, I looked up my job on the chart, and I got
    "Clerk."
    Well, there must be something wrong with the way they set these forms up or
    something, because I don't know any clerks who are billionaires.
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    Some other kids were unhappy with the jobs they ended up with, too. But the
    teacher said we shouldn't take these things too seriously.
    Well, try telling that to Edward Mealey. Last year, he got "Sanitation Worker" on
    his job chart, and the teachers have been treating him different ever since.

    [Image: A cartoon of a lady scolding the two boys.] "Edward, could you please
    cleanup this juice spill?"
    Rowley got "Nurse" on his job chart, and he seemed pretty happy about it. A
    couple of girls got Nurse, too, and they were chatting away with Rowley after
    class.
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    Next year I have to remember to sit next to Rowley and copy his job form so I can
    get in on some of that action.
    [Image: A cartoon of a girl talking to the boys.]
    Saturday
    Me and Rodrick were just sitting around the house today, so Mom sent us over to
    Gramma's to rake her leaves.
    Mom said she'd pay us $100 in Mom Bucks for each bag we filled. Plus, Gramma
    said she'd give us hot chocolate after we were finished.
    I really didn't feel like working on a Saturday, but I needed the cash. Besides,
    Gramma makes really awesome hot chocolate. So we got some rakes and plastic
    bags from our garage and headed down to Gramma's house.
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    I took one side of the yard, and Rodrick took the other. But ten minutes into the
    job, Rodrick came over and told me I was doing everything all wrong.

    [Image: A cartoon of a two boys cleaning up and collecting the dried leaves.] "No,
    No, No!"
    Rodrick said I was putting WAY too many leaves in each bag, and that if I just tied
    the bag closer to the bottom, I could get done a lot quicker.
    [Image: A cartoon of a boy pointing at a bundle and talking to his friend.]
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    See, now this is the kind of advice you're SUPPOSED to get from your older
    brother.
    After Rodrick showed me that trick, we went through bags like nobody's business.
    In fact, we ran out in half an hour.
    Gramma didn't seem too happy about forking over the hot chocolate when we
    came inside. But like they say, a deal's a deal.
    [Image: A cartoon of a teacher and two boys in the class.] "Ahhhh!"
    Monday
    Ever since Career Day, Rowley has been spending lunch with a bunch of girls who
    sit at the corner table in the cafeteria. I guess the group of them is like the Future
    Nurses of America or something.
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    Don't ask me WHAT they talk