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wasn't done with me yet.
    She wasn't really that mad about the joke or how I treated Chirag. She was just
    mad that I LIED about it.
    So Mom told me she'll ground me for a MONTH if she catches me lying again.
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    And that means I better watch my step, because Mom's not gonna forget what she
    said. When it comes to my screwups, Mom has a memory like an elephant.
    [Image: A cartoon of a mother scolding her son in the kitchen.] "That's the second
    time you tracked mud into the kitchen!"
    (FIRST TIME: SIX YEARS AGO)
    Last year Mom caught me lying, and I paid the price for it.

    Mom made a gingerbread house a week before Christmas, and she put it on top of
    the refrigerator. She said nobody was allowed to touch it until Christmas Eve
    dinner.
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    [Image: A Gingerbread House.]
    But I couldn't help myself. So every night, I'd sneak downstairs and pick off a little
    piece of the gingerbread house. I tried to only eat a tiny piece each time so Mom
    wouldn't notice.
    [Image: A cartoon of a boy on a stool picking a gumdrop from the Gingerbread
    house on the fridge]
    It was really hard to limit myself to one gumdrop or one little crumb of
    gingerbread each night, but I managed to do it anyway.
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    I didn't know how much I had actually eaten until Mom took it down off the fridge
    on Christmas Eve.
    [Image: A cartoon of a family at dinner on Christmas eve. The mother is
    uncovering the gingerbread house.]
    When Mom accused me of eating all the candy, I denied it. But I wish I just fessed
    up right away, because that fib totally backfired on me.
    Mom had just gotten hired to write a parenting column for the local newspaper,

    and she was always looking for material. So that incident pretty much made me
    into a local celebrity.
    [Image: A cutting of the mother's article. With her picture.] " When your child is
    being deceptive
    Susan Heffley
    The weeks leading up to Christmas can be source of stress for a child and can
    harbor unforeseen temptations. My son Gregory found that"
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    You know, now that I think about it, Mom isn't exactly squeaky clean when it
    comes to being honest HERSELF.
    I remember when I was a kid, and she found out I wasn't brushing my teeth every
    night. She faked a call to the dentist's office. And that call is the reason why I still
    brush my teeth four times a day.
    [Image: A cartoon of a boy listening to his mother who is talking on the phone.]
    "Dr. Kratz, do you have dentures for a little boys? Oh, only wooden ones? I guess
    that will have to do , then."
    Friday
    Well, it's been three days and I've kept my promise to Mom. I've been 100% honest
    the whole time, and believe it or not, it's not that hard.
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    In fact, it's kind of liberating. I've been in a couple of situations already where I
    was a lot more honest than I would have been a week ago.
    For example, the other day I had a conversation with this neighborhood kid named
    Shawn Snella.
    [Image: A cartoon of a boy talking to a child.] "When I grow up, I'm Gonna be a
    professional basketball player!
    Think again, Shawn! Neither one of your parents is taller than five-foot-two and
    you're the only 200 pound six year -old I know!
    [Image: A cartoon of a man and a crying child and a boy.] "Waaah!
    I cannot tell a lie."
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    And yesterday, Rowley's family had a birthday party for his grandfather.
    [Image: Cartoons of boys together at the table before cutting the cake.] "Next year,
    I want a chocolate cake!
    That is if you're alive next year!
    Hey, I'm just trying to be realistic!"
    Most people don't seem to appreciate a person as honest as me. So don't ask me
    how George Washington ever got to be president.
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    Saturday
    Today I answered the phone, and it was Mrs. Gillman from the PTA, looking for
    Mom. I tried to hand her the phone, but she whispered for me to tell Mrs. Gillman
    that she wasn't home.
    I couldn't tell if Mom was trying to trick me into lying or WHAT, but there was no
    way I was going to break my honesty streak over something as dumb as