Rock the Boat Read Online Free PDF Page A

slipped away, yet it hurts more than I ever imagined. The thought of never seeing her face or hearing her voice again for as long as I live scares the ever loving shit out of me. I barely remember a world without her in it. How can I be expected to pick up the pieces and walk out of here, leaving her body for someone else to take care of when I’ve been the one making sure she had it all?
    Dom steps into the room, the jingling of the chain connecting his wallet to his jeans giving him away before I even turn my head to see who it is. He stands next to me in support, his hand resting on my shoulder while I break down for the first time since she started her hospice care. I always thought if I kept my emotions locked up, they wouldn’t have the power to control the outcome. Now that she’s passed, the most crippling pain squeezes my throat shut until it hurts so bad I have no choice but to let it out. “What am I going to do, Dom?”
    “She’s at peace now, East. You have to let her go.”
    Fuck, peace. What about me? How am I supposed to find tomorrow when my today has just been destroyed?
    “Easton? Are you okay?”
    I turn my head toward Gina, wishing that when I did, her voice would somehow morph into Shay’s. I’d give anything to hear her say my name again—anything to hold her in my arms and feel her hug me. “I don’t think I’m ready for something this serious.”
    “But you’ve come so far. You’ve changed. You even dated that dealer for a while. She was from Canada wasn’t she?”
    “How do you know about that?”
    “Dominic told me.” Considering Dom didn’t have all the facts, I guess it would have appeared to be more than it was. In my eyes, it was nothing more than a string of repeat performances between two people looking to have some fun.
    When I don’t offer to give it a try with this new chick, Gina looks to Dom for help. I can practically see the wheels turning in his head about how he’s going to convince me that his girlfriend is right. If Gina doesn’t get what she wants, Dom does whatever it takes to make it happen for her. Considering I’ve done the same thing for Shay more times than I can count, there’s not a damn thing I can say about it. It’s what you do for someone you love.
    “Go ahead, Dom. I can tell it’s killing you.”
    He rubs his palms on his jeans as he clears his throat. “I tried to stay out of it, but I agree with Gina. What if you have a drink with her in the lounge? If after meeting her you still feel absolutely nothing, then we won’t bother you about it again.”
    “Aren’t I supposed to be doing this for myself—because I’m ready and want to find someone?”
    “In theory, yes. But I don’t see that happening, so consider this a push in the right direction.”
    Gina smiles, seemingly satisfied with his proposal. “Please, Easton. She came all this way to meet her guy. Imagine how disappointed she will be when she finds out he changed his mind at the last minute.”
    I glare at her for obvious reasons. “I never agreed to take part in the first place. You’re the one who signed me up and decided for me.”
    “Well, you have a point, but I only did it because you could make someone really happy. And by doing that, I think you’ll make yourself happy, too. More than half of the women on every cruise look at you like you’re a damn rockstar, but you couldn’t be bothered with a single one of them. It’s time to take a leap.”
    “I am a rockstar.” I’ve been the lead singer of Midnight Fate since high school. It’s the only job I’ve ever had that I cared about.
    “You were a rockstar. Before you threw it all away to live a mindless existence on ships.”
    She knows damn well why I gave it up. The thought of returning to all the places I had taken Shay, where we created memories I couldn’t ever forget, wasn’t going to work for me. I tried for a month, and then after that, when another tour was about to begin, I knew I had to run