in the back where Iâd asked for it, I put Cheryl on one of the beds and Little Duke beside her so theyâd sleep. Sheâd missed dinner, but it only meant sheâd be hungry in the morning, when she could have anything she wanted. A few missed meals donât make a kid bad. Iâd missed a lot of them myself and havenât turned out completely bad.
âLetâs have some fried chicken,â I said to Edna when she came out of the bathroom. âThey have good fried chicken at Ramadas, and I noticed the buffet was still up. Cheryl can stay right here, where itâs safe, till weâre back.â
âI guess Iâm not hungry anymore,â Edna said. She stood at the window staring out into the dark. I could see out the window past her some yellowish foggy glow in the sky. For a moment I thought it was the gold mine out in the distance lighting the night, though it was only the interstate.
âWe could order up,â I said. âWhatever you want. Thereâs a menu on the phone book. You could just have a salad.â
âYou go ahead,â she said. âIâve lost my hungry spirit.â She sat on the bed beside Cheryl and Little Duke and looked at them in a sweet way and put her hand on Cherylâs cheek just as if sheâd had a fever. âSweet little girl,â she said. âEverybody loves you.â
âWhat do you want to do?â I said. âIâd like to eat. Maybe
Iâll
order up some chicken.â
âWhy donât you do that?â she said. âItâs your favorite.â And she smiled at me from the bed.
I sat on the other bed and dialed room service. I asked for chicken, garden salad, potato and a roll, plus a piece of hot apple pie and iced tea. I realized I hadnât eaten all day. When I put down the phone I saw that Edna was watching me, not ina hateful way or a loving way, just in a way that seemed to say she didnât understand something and was going to ask me about it.
âWhen did watching me get so entertaining?â I said and smiled at her. I was trying to be friendly. I knew how tired she must be. It was after nine oâclock.
âI was just thinking how much I hated being in a motel without a car that was mine to drive. Isnât that funny? I started feeling like that last night when that purple car wasnât mine. That purple car just gave me the willies, I guess, Earl.â
âOne of those cars
outside
is yours,â I said. âJust stand right there and pick it out.â
âI know,â she said. âBut thatâs different, isnât it?â She reached and got her blue Bailey hat, put it on her head, and set it way back like Dale Evans. She looked sweet. âI used to like to go to motels, you know,â she said. âThereâs something secret about them and freeâI was never paying, of course. But you felt safe from everything and free to do what you wanted because youâd made the decision to be there and paid that price, and all the rest was the good part. Fucking and everything, you know.â She smiled at me in a good-natured way.
âIsnât that the way this is?â I was sitting on the bed, watching her, not knowing what to expect her to say next.
âI donât guess it is, Earl,â she said and stared out the window. âIâm thirty-two and Iâm going to have to give up on motels. I canât keep that fantasy going anymore.â
âDonât you like this place?â I said and looked around at the room. I appreciated the modern paintings and the lowboy bureau and the big TV. It seemed like a plenty nice enough place to me, considering where weâd been.
âNo, I donât,â Edna said with real conviction. âThereâs no use in my getting mad at you about it. It isnât your fault. You do the best you can for everybody. But every trip teachesyou something. And Iâve learned I