Rock n Roll Babes from Outer Space Read Online Free PDF Page A

girl?
    Visions of body-snatchers, brain-suckers, fire-starters,cocoon artists, cosmic apes, liquid skies, parallel universes, purple people-eaters, David Bowie, Sigourney Weaver and the second-to-the-last Dr Who tumbled helter-skelter through his mind. He searched for the right response but the right response was quaking in some dark corner of his brain with the rest of his rational faculties as the visions shot through.
    Yorp! Yorp! Yorp! It was at this moment that a small reddish creature with hideous fur like an old shag-pile rug, a long narrow snout, floppy ears and prehensile toes bounded into the room, making a peculiar sound that was halfway between the yap of a small dog and the pop of a cork from a champagne bottle. Instead of pupils, its bulging round eyes pinwheeled yellow and black. Although it utilised both its front and back paws, it relied more on the back ones, hunching over with a peculiar gait that Jake had only ever previously observed in roadies. Yorp! Yorp! Yorp! Before he had time to consider the implications of this fresh apparition, it hurtled itself across the room and onto his left leg.
    Its tiny body wrapped tightly around Jake’s left knee, the creature began humping furiously. The alien girl hooted with laughter at this. That was a bit mean. No time to reflect on that now, however. Until he removed this furry tumour from his leg, he was in no position to reflect on anything. Revor was way beyond disgusting. What’s worse, his snaky pink tongue, poking out of his puckered and off-centre little mouth, had threaded itself through a rip in Jake’s jeans and, with a series of moist ministrations, embarked on an upwards exploration of his thigh. Jake vainly attempted to shake it off, push it off, pry it off, peel it off and slap it off, all the while trying to maintain some semblance of cool. As Baby, wiping tears of mirth fromher eyes, finally suctioned the little creature off him, Jake felt something wet dribble down his knee. He looked down to discover a stream of bright pink fluid. His stomach slam-danced against his ribcage; nausea diluted his cocktail of wonder and fear. ‘What
is
that thing?’ he gasped.
    ‘It’s only an oioi,’ shrugged Baby, tickling its ear. ‘Don’t you have them on Earth?’
    It was Revor’s turn to look shocked.
Only
an oioi?
    Hearing her matter-of-fact tone, Jake cringed at his own display of panic. Wherever this girl came from, alien nation or hallucination, he desperately wanted to impress her. At the same time, he suspected he was already failing miserably. This was a new experience for Jake. Jake usually found it much harder work extricating himself from a woman’s arms than insinuating himself between her legs in the first place. Tears sprang to his eyes.
    Tears had sprung to Revor’s eyes as well. Baby forgot about Jake for a moment. She ootchikootchikooed her by now thoroughly pathetic pet. Sniffling, it wriggled around on her lap.
    Jake found what happened next simply unbelievable. He’d always fancied himself quite the sophisticate. To his friends, Jake was a walking encyclopaedia of sexual knowledge: he could extemporise for hours on such arcana as the relative merits of the cat position and the doggie style, the joys of butterfly kisses (done with the eyelashes), the advantages of mint-flavoured condoms (‘freshens her breath at the same time’), and how to handle piercing emergencies—for instance if your eyebrow ring catches on her labial jewellery (‘make no sudden moves’). Jake was also an avid reader of his flatmates Skye and Saturna’s subscription copies of
Australian Women’s Forum.
    But nothing he’d ever seen or done or heard or read could have prepared him for what happened now. It had to be the light…Fucking hell. That was her thigh, for Christ’s sake. Her body was writhing with unabashed pleasure. He could see Revor’s long pink tongue darting in and out of the—what was it? Jesus Christ!
    Revor suddenly jerked his head