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establish friendly relations with your professor …
    JAN (I did that.)
    INTERROGATOR (
ignoring
) … and make a report on his connections …
    JAN I understand why you’re disappointed, but, you know, Cambridge is, well, it’s Cambridge, nothing happens there.
    INTERROGATOR How can you say that?
    He picks up the thickest file.
    INTERROGATOR (
cont.
) Look at this.
    JAN Well … what is it?
    INTERROGATOR The file on you in Cambridge.
    JAN The file on me?
    INTERROGATOR (
opening the file
) For example, there was a guest lecture by Professor Vitak from Bratislava, and afterwards a small group adjourned to Professor Morrow’s house to continue the discussion.
    JAN I put that in.
    INTERROGATOR But not what was said.
    JAN It wasn’t interesting.
    INTERROGATOR What is interesting is not for you to decide. Here’s another one—a reception at the Cambridge Union Labour Club: evidently you thought it wasn’t interesting that a young woman, a Czech student of philology, made negative remarks about our policemen. (
He opens the thin file.
) So what do I read in your report? ‘Party for socialist students at Labour Club. Many toasts to fraternal solidarity.’
    JAN Well—okay—yes—but there was an ethical problem. Well, I’d been sleeping with her … I couldn’t possibly … she would have been called home before her finals.
    INTERROGATOR Unless she was following instructions.
    JAN Lenka? You’re kidding.
    INTERROGATOR Who knows? But you’d think that two or even one and a half doctors of philosophy would consider the possibility, (
closing the file
) You’re not clever, you’re simple. And if you’re not simple you’re complicated. We’re supposed to know what’s going on inside people. That’s why it’s the Ministry of the Interior. Are you simple or complicated? Have another biscuit.
    JAN Excuse me, but—
    He stops and takes a biscuit, holds it.
    JAN (
cont.
) Thank you. Excuse me, but when will I get my records back?
    INTERROGATOR That’s what we’re here to talk about.
    Blackout and ‘All Over Now’ by the Plastic People of the Universe.
    Optional: projections of photos of the Plastic People.
    Smash cut to:
    Prague. April 1969. Jan’s living room.
    Jan is busying himself, putting beer on the table, looking through his record albums.
    Jan’s record player is playing ‘Venus in Furs’ by the Velvet Underground.
    A lavatory flushes.
FERDINAND ,
a young man about the same age as Jan, enters.
    FERDINAND That’s better.
    JAN How were the Beach Boys? Did they do ‘God Only Knows’?
    FERDINAND They did everything. What’s that?
    JAN Velvet Underground. ‘Venus in Furs’. What do you think?
    FERDINAND I don’t get it.
    JAN It’s okay. I’ll…
    Jan takes off the record and puts it reverently into its sleeve, which has a picture of a banana. Ferdinand looks through the other sleeves.
    JAN (
cont.
) Got given it by a girl in Cambridge last year. Andy Warhol did the banana.
    FERDINAND (
enviously
) You bastard …
Sergeant Pepper,
Cream, the Kinks …
    JAN You’re welcome to come and make tapes any time.
    FERDINAND (
for the beer
) Thanks.
    JAN So, how were the Beach Boys?
    FERDINAND I have to say they were great. They dress like the children of apparatchiks but when they play you can’t argue with it. They dedicated ‘Break Away’ to Dubcek. He was in the audience.
    JAN Dubcek was in the audience?!
    FERDINAND Well, he’s got nothing else to do now Husák’s taken his job. The Beach Boys live at the Lucerna! It’s a historic moment.
    JAN I suppose so. (
takes his beer
) Cheers.
    FERDINAND Cheers. The Beach Boys.
    JAN The Mothers of Invention. Cheers.
    FERDINAND The Stones.
    JAN The Rolling Stones live at the Lucerna.
    FERDINAND At Strahov!
    JAN (
in pain
) Stop, stop. Should I put on a record?
    FERDINAND Why not?
    JAN So