Rhymes With Witches Read Online Free PDF Page A

Alicia. I’ll take it under advisement.”

    Later that night, I phoned Phil.
    â€œJanie!” he said, his voice all happy. “Hey!”
    â€œMom said you called last night. Sorry I didn’t call back.” Which was true, in a general sort of way, but I wasn’t worried because I knew Phil wouldn’t hold a grudge. “So what’s up?”
    â€œNot much,” he said. “Just wanted to tell you how hot you looked in that blue dress you wore.”
    â€œHa, ha,” I said. This was the kind of thing Phil did, throw out a compliment in a joking way so that it didn’t have to mean anything. Because “hot” was such a stud-boy word, and Phil was so not a stud.
    â€œI mean it,” he said. “I wanted to tell you at school, only I didn’t want the other guys to notice and start slobbering all over you.”
    â€œUh-huh,” I said. These days Phil and I were more out-of-school friends, anyway. Partly because our classes didn’t overlap, but also because when we were in school, Phil had other stuff to worry about, like guys dumping his lunch and giving him flats. Phil was kind of scrawny, and he liked science more than sports, which made him an obvious target. Plus, he’d never developed that cynical veneer that Crestview guys thought was all important. Phil was an eager beaver in a school that didn’t give a damn.
    I sat on my bed and kicked off my shoes. I lay back and stared at the ceiling, at the frosted-glass light fixture that had been there since the dawn of time. Dead bugs made dark splotches in its center. “So want to hear something weird?”
    â€œSure.”
    â€œI’m going to a party Friday night.
With the Bitches.
Isn’t that insane?”
    â€œWhoa,” Phil said. “Hold on there, filly.”
    â€œI know. It’s crazy. Unless it’s a joke—do you think it’s a joke?”
    Because that was the angle Alicia had taken, after I failed to be suitably cowed by the Bitchcraft theory. I’d told her about Kyle’s party, and she’d shifted tactics, saying, “But what if it’s one of those ‘ugly’ parties, where whoever brings the ugliest date wins?” She bit at a cuticle. “You’re not seriously going to go, are you?”
    Phil’s voice pulled me back. “I hope you’re planning on filling me in, because I have zero clue what you’re talking about.”
    â€œRight. Sorry.” I rolled onto my side, switching the phone to my unsquished ear. I told him everything except for Rae’smumbo-jumbo, then said, “But why would they pick me? That’s the part that makes no sense. Unless I’m their ugly date. Am I? Am I their ugly date?”
    â€œGeez, Janie, are you blind?” Phil said. “You’re so beautiful, you make my teeth ache.”
    â€œBe serious. I’m, like, socially retarded. Especially compared to Keisha and Bitsy and Mary Bryan.”
    He fell silent. He was probably getting a hard-on thinking about them, which was surprisingly depressing. Even though I knew Phil was a boy, and all boys liked the Bitches, I was used to him liking only me.
    â€œKeisha and Bitsy are way beyond hot,” he finally said, “and I’d be lying if I said I’d throw them out of my bed. And Mary Bryan’s an absolute sweetheart. She’s got French at the same time as I have geometry, and our rooms are right across from each other. Sometimes I catch myself just … watching for her, you know?”
    I nodded. For some dumb reason I was afraid I was going to cry.
    â€œBut none of them holds a candle to you, Janie. Want to know why?”
    â€œWhy?”
    â€œBecause you’re a good person,” he said. “Because you try to do the right thing.”
    â€œI do? Like when?”
    â€œCome on, don’t be so hard on yourself.”
    I wanted to ask again, because I really wanted to know. But