Revenge of the Black Virgin Read Online Free PDF Page A

him,” she added in a whisper.
    “What!? Are you fucking kidding?” Brenda
almost sputtered into her glass.
    “He asked me to.” The tears were flowing
freely now. “We were going to go to Nice, to his family’s summer
house, and hide out until our heads were clear enough to make
rational decisions. I guess it sounds kind of st- stu- stupid,” she
said between sobs.
    “Yes, stupid! And immature, too!
Irresponsible.” Brenda was lapsing into lecture mode now.
“Careless. Selfish. Do you want me to go on, you crazy bitch?”
    “No. No. I realize as I’m telling you these
things that it was all crazy. But the craziest part is that I still
feel everything just as strongly as I did last week. Every day my
feelings grow even stronger. I can’t explain what’s happening to
me,” she admitted, stopping to blot her tears. “It’s as if the
Black Virgin is getting her revenge because I ran away. My desire
doesn’t fade—it grows and grows! I feel so powerless. And so
empty.”
    Brenda moved closer to Jo on the sofa, put
her hand over Jo’s, and squeezed.
    “Where’s your ring?” Brenda could see that Jo
wasn’t wearing the huge aquamarine ring James had given her last
Christmas.
    “In the safe. I can’t bear to look at it
anymore. Every time I do, I think of James.”
    “So where does he fit into all of this, if I
can ask?”
    “He doesn’t,” Jo replied.
    “Really?”
    Jo detected a hint of satisfaction in her
friend’s voice.
    “Really. But I don’t want to talk about him
right now. That conversation’s going to take a whole other evening.
And two more bottles of wine.” Jo smiled sadly.
    “It sounds like you need time to get over all
of this, Joey. And you need distractions.” She squeezed Jo’s hand
again. “I think you should come back to work. Just part-time, if
you want. But I really do think you need to focus on something
outside yourself.”
    “Maybe,” Jo said as she extricated her hand
and blew her nose. She knew that Brenda always had her best
interests at heart.
    “And,” Brenda lowered her voice, “the
magazine needs you. I need you. Things just don’t work properly
when you’re not there.”
    Jo looked up and saw a complex of emotions on
her friend’s face. At least one of them—humility—was new. She knew
that Brenda found it difficult to express her feelings. What she’d
just said was a big deal.
    Maybe she has her own agenda. But that’s
okay. We need each other right now.
    Jo sighed. “Okay, Bren. You’re probably
right. I’ll come in on Monday for a few hours and we’ll take it
from there. Alright?”
    Brenda’s face lit up and she grabbed onto
Joanna in an awkward bear hug. “That’s my girl!”
     
    After Brenda left, Jo felt a curious
lightening of her spirit, as if she’d been granted pardon for her
misadventures. Going back to work would probably be good for her.
And for Brenda. She did need to think about someone besides
herself.
    Taking inventory, Jo couldn’t believe how
much loss she’d just suffered. First, her father. The strongest,
most faithful support in her life. Dead of a heart attack at
fifty-nine. It seemed impossible, and Jo knew she would never get
over losing him.
    Then her almost-fiancé. James. The perfect
catch who, it seemed, still wanted to marry her after her indiscretion in France. Of course it was this very same
indiscretion that had pushed James out of the picture. Jo wasn’t
sure which was worse—losing a man like James or potentially losing
every other suitable man for the rest of her life. Every other man
who wasn’t Luc. No one else would do.
    And, finally, losing Luc. Perhaps this was
hardest for Jo to accept because it was all her own doing. If she hadn’t listened to James, if she’d been strong
enough to insist on contacting Luc before she went home, everything
would be different. Perhaps then he would still want her. God knows
she hadn’t stopped wanting him since the first moment she saw
him.
    And every hour