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there were two men he needed to talk to. So back into the Lincoln he went for another ungodly thirty-five hour drive. He pulled his cap down low and adopted a thuggish lean. He needed to get in and out of Poughkeepsie one more time. Which was stupid, but that seemed to be his modus operandi of late.
    When he finally rolled in, his ass vowing never to forgive him, he called Blake, but Livia reported he’d gone for a walk. She didn’t need to say anything more. The spot in the woods where Blake had almost taken his last breath was also his favorite place in the world.
    By the time Beckett arrived, it was twilight. The sun dusted the tops of the trees with the last of its energy. He parked in the lot at Firefly Park as Blake emerged from the trees. Beckett just watched his brother for a minute. Blake turned toward the fading sun and nodded, like one man would to another. Acknowledging. Beckett covered his face briefly to make sure his suddenly watery eyes wouldn’t spill over onto his cheeks.
    When he glanced back up, Blake was coming toward him. Of course he’d noticed him. Blake was so fucking observant. Beckett tried his door before realizing it was locked. He damn near ripped off the button in his haste to get to Blake. He got the thing open just as Blake closed in. They pounded each other on the back vigorously.
    “Beck? What the hell?” Blake pulled away to look at his face, as if making sure he was real.
    Beckett disentangled himself to hold up his arm in their standard greeting. Blake nodded to him much like he had the receding sun before wrapping his forearm around Beckett’s, drawing their matching tattoos together.
    “Brother. I’ve missed you. Damn it.” Blake looked close to tears himself as he pulled Beckett into another pounding hug. “This is not safe at all. What the hell are you doing here?”
    “Baby, I got to change some shit, and you’re one of only two people in the world I want advice from.” Beckett slapped Blake’s shoulder again. “But say the word and I’m gone.”
    Blake shook his head as if the thought pained him. “Let’s get out of sight.”
    They climbed into the car, and Beckett eased them into the thickening night. They kept smiling stupidly at each other.
    “You look like crap. Wow. What the hell’s going on?” Blake looked worried.
    Beckett ignored the question and kept his eyes on the road. “Can you text Cole in a way that keeps this quiet?”
    Blake pulled out his cell phone and typed a quick message. He flashed it in Beckett’s direction before hitting send:
    Listening to the Ave Maria in the car.
    Almost immediately Cole’s response chimed through:
    I’d love 2 join u. Get me at the church?
    As he read it over the center console, Beckett flipped on his right turn signal.
    “So you stopped by to see Livia?” Blake didn’t sound thrilled. Beckett couldn’t blame him. He was a time bomb strapped to a landmine.
    “I won’t do that again. Don’t worry.” Beckett tried not to feel the walls of his isolation narrow beyond where he could breathe.
    Blake nodded. “So you know about the baby.”
    “It’s going to be okay. There’s no way in hell you’ll be like your mom—just so you know.” Beckett gave Blake a side-glance. He’d guessed right. Considering Blake’s alcoholic mother and series of tragic foster homes, he had no good role models for being a parent—particularly a dad.
    “She’s so excited, and I am too, don’t get me wrong. But crap. We know what happens when you do it wrong, you know?” Blake made a fist on his lap.
    Beckett shook his head. It was going to be a long blob of months for his brother. “I know a few things. Not a lot, mind you, but a few things. And one of those is that a kid who gets raised by you will be honest and kind and able to survive in the wild for months at a time.”
    Blake laughed, and Beckett tried not to be obvious as he drank the noise in.
    They stopped at a red light—all slow like, no cause for attention.