Restore Your Marriage & Fall in Love Again Read Online Free PDF Page B

with compassion and sympathy. Be aware of your inclination to solve the problem, to offer your advice, and to tell your partner what to do. How difficult is it for you to hold back from trying to fix the problem? Explain. Talk about when and if you need your partner’s solutions and the kind of input that helps you most.
     
     
    THINK ABOUT IT
     
    Strengthen me by sympathizing with my strength not my weakness. ~Amos Bronson Alcott
     
    Some people think only intellect counts: knowing how to solve problems, knowing how to get by, knowing how to identify an advantage and seize it. But the functions of intellect are insufficient without courage, love, friendship, compassion and empathy. ~Dean Koontz
     
    Flatter me, and I may not believe you. Criticize me, and I may not like you. Ignore me, and I may not forgive you. Encourage me, and I may not forget you. ~William Arthur
     
    A sympathetic heart is like a spring of pure water bursting forth from the mountain side. ~Anonymous
     
    Most of us, swimming against the tides of trouble the world know nothing about, need only a bit of praise or encouragement and we will make the goal. ~Jerome Fleishman

RELATIONSHIP BUILDER NINE
     

Affirm Your Partner’s Positive Qualities
     
    We may notice and appreciate the good qualities we see in our partner, but we usually do not say anything to affirm him or her. We can say things like, “I enjoy your sense of humor.” “I love that you are so flexible.” “I know I can rely on you because you keep your word.” “Your energy is contagious!” “That was so thoughtful of you.” “You are so beautiful.” “You displayed great strength and courage in taking that action.” “Your calm demeanor makes me feel safe.”
     
    If we think about it, we can come up with a list of positive characteristics that we admire in our partners. Expressing our appreciation and respect to them can be very empowering. No one tires of hearing words that affirm that they are loved and cherished, that they have what it takes to succeed, that they are respected and admired. Actually, it not only empowers and comforts, it strengthens the bond of the relationship. It increases intimacy and romance.
     
    When we share our thoughts of admiration and acknowledge the wonderful things we recognize and appreciate in our spouse, we are sending a very clear message of love and respect. He knows you are thinking about him. She knows that you care. He knows you believe in him. She feels encouraged. He gets a boost in confidence. She feels closer to you. He is strengthened to persist. She feels you love and adore her. He feels you have the respect for him that he always wanted.
     
    Affirming one another can seem awkward or uncomfortable if it has not been a consistent practice in the couples’ relationship. However, couples quickly adapt and enjoy being affirmed and appreciated by their partners. Simple affirmations of your partner’s worth can encourage and remind her that she is special and loved. Affirming your partner can help build his self-esteem as your partner is reminded of his good qualities. These simple reminders can have positive lasting results in each person and in the relationship.
     
     
    SAY IT & BELIEVE IT
    Read aloud (individually or together):
     
    ( Spouse’s name ) has many great characteristics that I tend to not affirm often enough, if at all. I realize that this is one of the most effective ways to empower _____ and build his/her confidence and self-esteem. When _____ is affirmed by me, it lets him/her know he/she is appreciated. He/she is special to me. And that his/her good qualities do not go unnoticed.
     
    Even when we are not getting along or seem to not like one another, affirming each other often reminds us that we do admire one another in many ways. And we remember how we have been affirmed. We like to hear it. It draws us closer. I want _____ to know how much I love and respect him/her. I will make it a healthy habit to remind