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tears are wet on my shoulder. “John is gone. Gone with Matthew or just gone, I don’t know.”
       Calming and comforting her is my focus for many long moments. I whisper to her quietly in the darkness. It’s Dakota’s return that finally quiets her. He leads her away and I go off in search of Luke.

 
     

 
     
     
Chapter 6
    Node: 100
     
     
     
    Luke’s hands glide around my waist. His fingers feel warm against my bare stomach. It feels strange to be out of our jumpers, but it’s definitely an improvement. I was shivering and unable to warm myself in the damp air.
       Sierra doesn’t allow fires in Refuge for fear of smoke trails alerting the machines to our location. She seemed to be speaking from experience. I didn’t press her for more and won’t ask again about gathering wood for fires to chase the chill away.
       “The others,” I say when his lips hover over mine. Something nags at me: Luke’s words about how I wasn’t myself earlier. The implication that I wasn’t in control, that Sierra might not be in control.
       I wish I knew what it all meant. At the same time, I hope I never find out.
       He grips my waist firmly. “What’s bothering you?”
       I’m dead on my feet and I lean my head against his shoulder. In the main room, Sierra is drawing plans in the dirt on the floor. “I don’t like the idea of being controlled by the machines—by anyone.”
       “Do you think I do?” He strokes my cheek absently. “I want them out of my head as much as you, but I’ve no idea how to do it.”
       Watching Sierra direct the others and plan a surveillance of the nearby machine column is a strange dynamic. Before I left Central, I never would have ever imagined her being in charge. “How did you know I wasn’t me anymore? The word did you use earlier. Slip…”
       “Slip-glow, like a soft light behind the whites of your eyes. Pale and silvery.”
       “Almost like quicksilver,” I say.
       “Exactly.”
       Sierra’s leadership seems so natural with Chevy, Austin, Dakota and the others looking to her even with my return. It leaves me wondering where Luke and I fit in or if we fit in at all. Luke senses this too, I can tell.
       He turns my eyes to his with a gentle touch. “Cedes, I know what you’re thinking. This is where we belong. These are our people. We’re going to find out what’s going on and we’re going to fix it.”
       He pulls me away from the door and deeper into our room. Then he tries to kiss me. I stop him by putting a finger between our lips. “What about Matthew and his?” I say. “Shouldn’t they be the priority instead of the machines? We shouldn’t be warring with each other. We should be uniting.”
       He takes my hands, kisses me firmly, passionately, until I feel I can’t catch my breath and have to pull away.
       “I’ve been waiting all day to do that,” he says. “The thought that I might never again was… was…”
       “Terrifying,” I say for him. My eyes tell him I know, I know. The very scent of him is intoxicating. I feel safe with his arms around me. But otherwise, I don’t know if we’re really safe. It’s not that I share Luke’s mistrust of Sierra—it’s that I don’t think I’ll truly feel safe until the machines are gone, until we’ve stopped Matthew and his.
       I pull him down with me to the makeshift bed. Not just to have the warmth of him beside me but because I want to let him know how I really feel. My intent is to kiss him the way he kisses me. I don’t manage it. The heat of his breaths against my neck lulls me. My eyes close even though I fight to keep them open. The day isn’t done, but I am.
       He brushes my hair back behind my ear and presses a hand to the side of my face. “Cedes, I’m here. You’re here. We’re here together. It’s all that matters.”
       “Sorry,” I say.
       “Nothing to be sorry for. If we could stay just like