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find dramatic differences between the vaginal sizes of different women. Women who had had babies didn’t have vaginas that were any bigger overall than women who had not. So what accounts for differences in size and sensation if vaginas tend to be of a similar size? Several things might affect how vaginas feel, so read on!
    LUBRICATION
    Vaginal lubrication probably accounts for some of the differences in how “tight” or “loose” vaginas feel. After all, the wetter a woman’s vagina is, the less friction there will be during sex, as natural vaginal lubrication does just that—it lubricates the vagina to decrease friction and thus decrease sensation. A vagina that is low on lubrication and is thus drier will be higher on friction and sensation, but this isn’t always a good thing. According to our own research, women in the United States tend to prefer sex that feels pretty wet, as do most men, so there seems to be some happy medium that many women and their male or female partners strive for. Only you and your partner can determine what feels most pleasurable to you.
    The Towel Trick
    If vaginal intercourse or penetration with a sex toy feels pretty wet and as if there’s not a whole lot of sensation, try dabbing a towel on both of your genitals (we call this the “towel trick”). By reducing some of the wetness, you may feel more “tight” and full of sensation. On the other hand, if your vagina feels too dry or as if sex is uncomfortable or full of too much unpleasant sensation, try spending more time during foreplay doing exciting things to promote vaginal lubrication. You can also add some personal lubricant (water-based or silicone-based may be preferable, especially if you are using condoms) in order to enhance wetness, comfort, and pleasure.
    GENITAL FIT
    For male-female couples, genital fit—how the penis and vagina fit together during intercourse—can also play a role in people’s perceptions of vaginal size. A woman who has intercourse with a man who has a smaller-than-average-sized penis may feel as though sex (or her vagina) feels “roomy.” However, that same woman could have sex with a man who has a larger-than-average-sized penis and wonder if her vagina is too small or too tight. Keep in mind: nothing about her vagina has changed. Neither the woman nor the men have “bad” genitals or genitals that are an undesirable size. Rather, the genital fit between partners can make sex feel different. So remember: there is no such thing as bad genital size, only a challenging genital fit. And even a challenging fit can be managed by adding lubricant, using the towel trick, or expanding one’s ideas of sex to find other ways to experience fun, connection, and sexual pleasure. For example, a couple may experience greater pleasure through oral sex, sensual massage, the use of sex toys, or exploring sex positions that may help to make a tight genital fit more comfortable or a roomier genital fit feel more rich with sensation.
    VAGINAL-WALL RELAXATION
    Although many women say that six months or a year after giving birth, sex feels like it used to pre-pregnancy (except, of course, for the baby crying down the hall), other women have a different experience. Some women say that sex feels entirely different after they have been pregnant, whether or not they gave birth vaginally. Just being pregnant and bearing extra baby weight that’s supported by one’s pelvic-floor muscles may change the way that the vagina feels.
    Unfortunately, some doctors have historically denied women’s experiences in this regard and have told them things like “once you have a baby, nothing is ever the same again.” Other providers may take matters into their own hands by providing the woman with a “husband stitch” during her episiotomy in order to “tighten” her vagina. Statements and actions like these can minimize women’s feelings or make them feel as though they should put up with whatever uncomfortable or