to her new husband or his family that she is a virgin, even though she has previously (and perhaps secretly) had vaginal intercourse. Other women who are sexually experienced choose to have a hymenoplasty so that they can feel as though they are re-experiencing their virginity loss with a new partner. We know of a woman who chose to have this procedure done as an anniversary present for her husband, as neither one of them had been virgins when they met or married, and she wanted to experience the feeling of him taking her “virginity” (to her, this meant that she wanted to experience him penetrating her by tearing her newly created “hymen”). Some people may be intrigued by this idea; others may feel that this is a lot of expense, recovery time, and possibly discomfort or pain to go through for an anniversary celebration. Others are concerned that the procedure perpetuates the sexual double standard that women should remain virgins. If the idea sounds like fun sexual play, but you’d rather not go through a surgical procedure and its accompanying costs, risks, and recovery time, why not consider placing a penetrable material (e.g., wax paper) over a pair of crotchless panties? Or engage in dirty-talk fantasy play in which you pretend you’re involved in a devirginizing experience without actually breaking your hymen? A pain-free possibility!
The Vagina
The vagina is about three to four inches long when a woman is just hanging out and not feeling sexually aroused (it gets bigger during sexual arousal, but more on that later). At the far end of the vagina is the cervix, which is the opening to the uterus. The cervical opening is very small, which is why menstrual blood doesn’t “gush” out of it the way that water flows out of a faucet.
I am teaching my daughters the proper terms for their bodies and the bodies of boys, with help from some terrific books with accurate illustrations. I also tell them that MOST girls have vulvas and MOST boys have penises, but not always. I want them to understand gender in complex ways. I tell them the [only] way to know someone’s gender for certain is to ask.
— D EANNA, 41, Illinois
The vagina is not nearly as nerve-rich as the clitoris, which is probably a good thing as otherwise, vaginal birth might be a whole lot more painful than it already is for many women. Most of the nerve endings in the vagina are toward the vaginal entrance. Due to the lack of sensory nerve endings toward the back of the vagina, that part isn’t very sensitive, which is why a woman can’t generally feel a tampon or vaginal ring contraceptive (i.e., NuvaRing) inside her vagina if it’s pushed back far enough.
Although the vagina has long-been described as a muscular “tube,” research suggests that there may be several slightly different shapes for women’s vaginas. It’s not that there are dramatic differences between women’s vaginas, with some being very large and others being quite small. Slight differences in shape may, in part, account for why some women enjoy certain sexual positions or types of vaginal stimulation and others do not. If you’ve ever had a friend who swears by a certain position that makes you go “meh,” perhaps this helps explain some—but of course not all—of the differences between your experiences.
Fact!
The vagina, when unaroused, is only about three to four inches long.
What are these shapes, you ask? Well, there are five shapes identified thus far, and researchers have named them as follows: the heart, the pumpkin seed, the parallel sides, conical, and—get ready for this one—the slug. Why they ever thought that women would want their vagina to be named after a swamp creature, we’ll never know, but there it is. (In November 2010, Debby talked about these shapes to the cast of The Doctors on their television show, and they didn’t seem too keen on the slug name either.)
Shapes aside, it’s also true that these very same researchers didn’t
Jennifer McCartney, Lisa Maggiore